FOR TODAY
I SO MANY TIMES WANT TO WRITE BUT DO NOT WANT TO BE NEGATIVE OR WORRY ANY ONE ,BUT MY HEART HAS BEEN SO HEAVY LATELY SO LONELY AND THINKING OF MY DAUGHTER SO MUCH ,I TRY SO HARD TO OVER COME THIS DARK FEELING O I TRY TO KEEP OTHERS UP BUT I FEEL I AM SINKING SOME TIMES LIKE IN QUICK SAND, I PRAY A LOT BUT FEAR I AM NOT BEING HEARD , I EVEN STARTED GOING BACK TO CHURCH WHICH I SHOULD BE DOING SOON ,BUT IT IS LIKE MOVING LEAD, ALONE AGAIN AND SO HARD TO MOVE, I KNOW I AM NOT ALONE BUT WHY DO I FEEL SO ALONE, LIFE SURE CAN HAND OUT SOME BAD THINGS ,BUT I SEE EVERY ONE LIVING THERE LIVES AND I DO NOT EVEN WANT TO BE HERE ,TO SUFFER ANY MORE SOME TIMES MY PAIN IN MY HEART IS WORSE THEN THE PAIN IN MY BODY, I WILL CONTINUE TO FIGHT AND BE HERE FOR OTHERS BECAUSE THAT IS ME ,I HOPE I AM NOT LOSING ANY OF MY FRIENDS BECAUSE I STAY TO MY SELF SOME TIMES, I LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS AND WOULD DO ANY THING FOR THEM , JUST PRAY FOR ME, ONE DAY AT A TIME,SOME OF THEM ARE LONG DAYS.
Replies
Hi Lovelt, Hey dont ever hold back or hesitate to vent. I WANT YOU TO CALL,ME, JOURNAL, MESSAGE,E-MAIL WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET IT OUT. Friendship goes both ways and plus that you & I are family. I can hear your unspoken words, I hear you and I\'m listening even when you dont say or write a single word. I worry when I dont hear much coming from you. I have heard a lot of what youve gone thru and I would be sad if you didnt confide in me. I hope church helps and I want you to know you have purpose and need to be here and I would be a mess with out ya.. As for your heartache, i say stay close to the Lord, express yourself thru journalling and music, and call on your friends and cry when you need to but dont cry alone i dont care if you cry over the phone, i dont want you to ever feel alone. I could go on & on but i will call you when you get home from church. I love you call me if you get home sooner than i think your there. I am by your side, I will always be here for you, and to make you laugh think about what your lil sis was worried and scared over that i confided in you about the other day i wont post it here but im looney huh LOL ok well get you thru the bad days together alright, I LUV you bunches.:)
Your lil sis.
Leslie
PS your friends luv you unconditionally and understand when your quiet, we care though and want you to lean on us , ok ? OK.
Writing things down is a way to release that pain. Your prayers are always heard. Every single one of them. Can you joing a grieving support group at your church or another one? Sharing your grief with others who have also lost a loved one might help you heal.
You\'re going to be alright.
Brad
Prayers for you are said...love ya!!
I understand how you feel and sympathize with you.... I\'am very lonely at times I have NO face to face friends , my family does\'nt care,BUT i know I\'am NOT alone ..... And yes the pain in my heart is much worse some days than the pain from my lupus / fibromyalgia ...I too hate to dwell on the negative and try to be positive , BUT there are time we need to let it out , and we need to be honest with ourself .. The facts are \'we are human\' , we feel negative at times, lonely and that my friend is ok ... YOU are NOT alone , God \'s beautiful angels are around you every time of your life \"\"As the mountains are round about Jerusalem, so the LORD is round about his people from henceforth even for ever\'\'\'\' ! YOU are loved by God and your dear friends here on d s ... AND GOD HEARS OUR PRAYERS BEFORE WE EVEN ASK ! comforting hugs to you : )
Shirley i feel your pain even when you arent about much, and even when you dont talk about Denise. I know how you struggle so, you are not loosing any friends, youreal friends care and love you so much, you have been through realy bad times, and yet you are still here for us, comforting, careing, praying, I hate it you get lonely, and in pain, i do pray for you everyday. i told you say the word and im on that line to you, but you must say, i dont want to intrude, i love you sweetheart, we all do, i need you to, i cant imagine my life now without you in it, say the word, just say it and il be there, love and tender hugs, im holding your hand tight always, susie xx
Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way Shirley.
It\'s a constant battle with depression once you have lost a child, how can it be otherwise, a piece of our lives is gone. We all know your battle and are right there with you.
My heart aches for you. But, I am very glad that you are trying to do more activities...going back to church is a good step. I certainly can\'t say that I know how you feel; losing a child, I think, must be terrible. I lost my husband 7 years ago and I can\'t seem to get through mourning and move forward. I ,too, have become isolated from my friends, but on the occassions when I do talk w/them, they are still there for me.
I wiish you the strength to get through this. Write what/when you feel; you have the support of this group!!
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH WORDS CAN BE SO HEALING AND I LOVE YOU ALL, HUGS, SHIRLEY
I have had similar feelings from time-to-time. Hang in there, all these Moms are here to help in one way or another; maybe it be in the form of advice or a kind word or a hug when it is really neeed
Share what is in your heart as you have today dear Shirley. You may just share something that someone is feeling too and has not been able to articulate yet. That is the beauty of this site and our sharing.
There are no expectations my friend so just do what feels nurturing and healing for you.
Hoping that the rest of your weekend has felt a bit lighter and if not just know you are among loving women who understand...
Take care of you and I appreciate your friendship.
With love,
Joanie
Shirley I have found that the more time that I am alone the more my thoughts can seem to destroy me. I know that your grand daughter just moved out and you are just coming down from what sounded to be a very busy time so please try to rest up but also try and keep your mind busy by doing things that you enjoy or enjoy as much as you can right now, reading, watching TV or crafts, whatever it is. Tomorrow is another day and all that we can do for now is just to breathe and take one step at a time. I know that you have been there for me with a hand up, a loving thought and kind words, I hope in time that I may be able to do the same for you. So please be gentle and kind to yourself right now during this low point and believe that there is another high point just around the corner...love and hugs...Kathy
Go easy on yourself. Your true friends will understand. Let it all hang out here, we all get it. We have been in a dark hole and have worked very hard to get out, sometimes we fall back in. The trick is never give up. We are here for you, keep journeling it will come out in your words and your feelings will improve...
Hugs Penny
Just to let you know that with grown up kids I am still very lonely, because my two adult children couldn\'t care less about me. Even my grandchildren don\'t care. I feel I have been very good to all of them, but still they don\'t care. I don\'t know what I can do to make them care. The trouble is they don\'t need me.
Shirley Prayers
Love You sis
Mary