Flood 2016 Journal 7
Troublesome thoughts... Normal under the circumstances... I woke wishing I had sorted through the trunks that held our Christmas stuff. I let them throw it all away... but there were ornaments that had special meaning... I had them for many years... I wish I had checked... they told me the weight of the water everything was broken... Its only things... I will have myself a good cry... write a bit and then I will go on...
The span of time for the hardest part... I don't expect it to be long... very short compared to the hardships many people live with for years and sometimes their whole lifetimes... I'd feel guilty for feeling sad, crying... but I'm human... I forgive myself... I'm writing about it not to say feel sad for me... but to tell anyone that's struggling... its okay... We will be okay...
So I haven't written in a bit... Just living our lives... and I was hoping if I didn't write... someone else might feel compelled to write a bit... We all have stories... I was thinking about the stories of family members who lived through the depression... My mother was born in 1935... I had a ration book with her name on it... My mom said when she was small her mother would walk 2 miles to and from work to save the nickel bus fare from each way... a nickel would buy bread and so she walked to save the money to make sure they had enough to eat... I've read books about life during the depression... Many hardships... but often I read about families living and laughing and loving... yes... life goes on...
There have been some good things... actually great things going on... There have been several area schools who lost band instruments, uniforms, etc. receiving donations... sometimes really hefty donations to help replace those things... Harry Connick Jr, Taylor Swift... a couple of the big names that I'm more familiar with came to mind... but there have been some big names in sports... and there has been the gathering and donating of uniforms and the like from schools... People wanting to help... It means a lot.
Richard taught band... He feels strongly about young people having the opportunity to learn to play a musical instrument. He's been playing trumpet for over 55 years... He's written articles and talked to me about the many ways band/music classes add much more to people's lives than just learning to play the instrument... structure, self discipline, the joy of music... We both feel saddened that schools have cut their band programs because they had to make budget cuts. Life can be... should be... about more than the bottom line...
I love live theater... I was 28 when I saw my first professional live theater production. It was awesome! I don't know why I just feel like I climb into the skin of each character and I am living the play as I am watching it... I just don't get the same feeling from watching TV... I do the same thing in my reading... I often say I have lived many lives in one lifetime through all these characters in the plays and my books... They have immeasurably enriched my life... Music is such a gift. I remember one day I literally thought to myself... music has so enriched my life... It is sometimes distracting... but most of the time... I'm so glad the way lines of songs I have heard through the years pop up in my mind in response to just about any and everything I hear... comforting too... to almost always have music playing inside my head... to enjoy the songs over and over... devastating to think how much less my life would have been without music...
So this journal wasn't just about the flood... My life... our lives... are going on... we've still got tons of things to do... often I feel overwhelmed... something falls into place and we pick up the broom, the mop, the hammer, the shovel... and don't forget... there are always meals to prepare, dishes to wash (UGH), clothes to wash... mais oui...
Meals to cook... that reminds me... So yesterday we had some folks come out and look over the place to give us a quote on work we needed done... They inspected and promised to get back to us with a quote... Then one young man made me feel really good... He said our house was the best smelling house he'd been in... There's a stench from the flood, that we have been able through a lot of soap and bleach to beat back a great deal. I didn't think about it at the time... It did feel good to have the guy say the house smelled good... but later... I kept noticing the smell of the baby lima beans I had cooked with some shredded pork thrown in for seasoning... I think that may have been what he was noticing... made me laugh thinking about the power of garlic... Yup... I like a good dash of garlic in pretty much everything... Trying to make sure I keep the vampires away maybe... LOL
Well I've rambled enough... Praying for us all... that what ever we need to do to find our way we have loved ones to encourage and support us as we continue to live this life... So many of us don't have many sometimes any one to hold, comfort, encourage us... My heart prays especially for you... That you will know that you are thought of. Hugs and Prayers Elissa
Replies
What a positive message from you!!!! I am uplifted today and will go about my day thinking of these things you have written. I am grateful for this day and all of my life especially my friends and you. Peace, Kathy
This is your life and in the midst of reading it I'm sure each of us will find ourselves within your words as I know I did. I was reminded that everything I taught my students I would try to offer a practical reason as to where they would use it in every day life. When I had to teach metrics I did it miserably because I always had to study because it was not what the US was using. The demands on teachers on what needs to be taught to "pass" the tests can feel like a heavy weight at times. The school that my Littles are currently attending teaches gardening, music, languages, the arts... Haven who is eight now gave me a picture she had painted and explained it to me in Japanese. They are little sponges and think of what you remember from school. I remember the school plays, the field trips, recess! I'm with you and hope they'll implement more of what is important, like music, the arts, etc.
The simple things like someone telling you how good your house smelled made a difference. :) Cooking meals in the most creative of ways, I'm sure is what you are doing and even that takes a lot of energy when everything is not in place.
I remember you saying that you would try to make it to the retreat, God willing and if the creek don't rise. Something like that was the expression and here the creek did rise (and then some) and you'll still find yourself in the midst of the healing in Branson. Safe travels and I do hope it provides some needed respite from the day to day work you are faced with. Each day takes courage to face another challenge I'm sure and it's certainly okay as you said to allow those tears to fall as that is part of our human experience.
Hand in hand, Heart to heart,
XO Joanie
Love you Elissa!!!
You are an inspiration! I am getting the hang of losing things but still hang on to treasured items. I was REALLY upset when Harvey sold Lisa's antique piano. We scrimped to buy it for her when she was a kid. I was not consulted. I guess my task in life is to learn to let go.
Do you and Richard have any good ideas as to music that we could use for the retreat. Live laugh love is the theme. We are going to use Louis Armstrong - Beautiful Life.
If he could bring his trumpet it would be wonderful. I know it is late in the game. I have been working with Sally on the program.
We are driving some of Route 66. We are presently in Cuba! We will be in Branson on Thursday!
Love and hugs, M