First Journal Entry

How to start things off... Well, I guess a tiny bit of history, and then a launch into why I am here.
Starting from the beginning...
As a young child, I was diagnosed with ADHD.
I was born male, however at 14 years old I realized that I am not male, but female.
Around 13 or 14 I started spending most of my time online and playing video games as well as being sexually promiscuous online. I was far too uncomfortable in my own body and far too socially awkward to be sexually promiscuous in reality, but that didn't stop me from trying (and failing)
At 18 I stuffed my feelings regarding my gender and joined the US Navy (Aug 2005). My first day at my first duty station I found the guy who was supposed to be my roommate dead on the floor (March 2006). Welcome to the Navy!
Around my 20th birthday I became so depressed that it effected my work, and my Chief ordered me to see a psychologist around 2-3 months later. I blamed all my issues on my gender stuff and got discharged Honorably with a medical discharge for Gender Identity Disorder (March 2008). I had saved up a good 17k while in the Navy.
Suddenly I found myself able to be myself and started to act out sexually on reality, instead of online. I still played video games excessively. During the next year and a half I spent my entire savings of 17k as well as money I didn't have, because I could would not find a job.
4-5 months after leaving the Navy I started my gender transition to female with hormones (Aug 2008).
After a year and a half I went to a weekend personal development workshop called The Living Course (TLC) (June 2009). Soon after I found my first job after a whole year and a half of being out of the Navy (Aug 2009). I had gotten myself a good 2-3 thousand dollars into debt.
At the same time I found myself a job I started attending CoDependents Anonymous (CoDA) meetings (Aug 2009). Two months later I realized that I am a sex addict, and started attending Sex And Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) meetings (Oct 2009).
2 months after I joined SLAA I had my first major relapse at 4 days long and 3 people (Dec 2009). A week or so after I got sober again I realized that my issues with video games are serious, and I stopped playing games. I have since never picked up another video game... so far (Yay me!).
After about 7-9 months at my new job, thanks to pulling all the money out of my retirement plan I had started in the Navy, I was able to get myself out of debt.
I made it 10 months sober before I had my second major relapse (Oct 2010). This lasted only 3 days, but in those three days I had made plans to be with around 1 guy per day for the following 2 weeks. Around 15 men had my phone number, and I had already had sex with one of them. I only stopped because my sponsor in SLAA told me not to call him until I decided to get sober again. Within 2 minutes of hanging up the phone I went from very happy to suicidally miserable. I called my sponsor back crying my eyes out and saying I would stop. I did. I had to change my phone number the next morning. People described me during those three days as "extremely happy," "insane," and "manic."
A few months later I decided to quit my job and go to college, since I felt that I was just spinning my wheels (Dec 2010). I started attending college and managed to get 3 As and 1 F in my first semester (Jan - May 2011). The one F was because I was feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work in that class, and as a result I kept procrastinating. I blamed my ADHD. I decided to try to get on college disability so that I could get some extra help in my classes. The college however, requires a recent diagnosis in order to provide help so they referred me to a testing facility.
Everything was fine and dandy, I was expecting ADHD and possibly OCD. That is, until 2 weeks ago. 2 weeks ago I got a phone call from the psychologist who did the testing, and she started asking a bunch of questions that I quickly figured out were about bipolar disorder. My answers were scaring the shit out of me. This was a good month or so after I had finished very extensive testing (IQ, MMPI-2, Rorschach, etc. etc. etc.)
I got the test results back earlier today in the form of an extremely detailed 20-30 page report:
I am NOT ADD/ADHD: One test alone indicated a 90% chance that I am NOT ADHD. Other tests and observations agreed with this.
I was diagnosed with:
Bipolar I Disorder
Anxiety Disorder NOS.
Exhibitionism (Considering that I am a recovering sex addict... totally not surprised by this.)
Personality Disorder NOS. (Antisocial and Histrionic Traits)
I got a LOT more than I bargained for! I have been having an extremely hard time coping with this, and with each passing moment I am realizing more and more how bipolar makes a lot of very painful sense.
On the report itself in the recommendations for each diagnosis it suggests coming to this website for support.
The combination of Bipolar and Anxiety Disorder means that I spend a lot more time in a mixed state than in a depressed state. I also seem to not spend very much time in a manic state. During my last major relapse (9 months ago - yay!) I had spent two months prior in a mixed state, then during the relapse I was completely manic and I was making plans to try to keep the manic going for as long as I could, but then I fell out before I could get more than 3 days into it and I crashed and had a good 3-4 months of mixed state and depression.
I also seem to have lots of mild cycles. When hit with stress I can spend around 2 days to a week in mixed state, then I'll experience a few short hours of hypomania before crashing with depression or more mixed state for a few more hours. The last time this happened was around 2 weeks ago starting when I got that fateful phone call. 3 days of Mixed State, 3 hours of Hypomania, and 2 hours of Depression. Then I watched Transformers 3 and I got totally sucked into it, then when the movie was over I was stable. I remained stable for the two weeks after that until yesterday, with my appointment set for the very next morning I started experiencing really bad depression and anxiety (I seemed to switch between depressed and anxious every few hours). Then today after I got my diagnosis it continued with some anxiousness and irritability, and a lot of depression.
To put how I am feeling right now very simply. This fucking sucks.