First Day of the Rest of my life

I feel amazing.  Like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  I feel like everything is going to be okay.  This feeling happens to me once and a while.  And then I usually quickly do something to fuck it up.  Like speaking to my family and sharing my joy- never a good idea.  Or speaking to one of the abusive people in my life- also never a good idea.  All those things knock me down.  They take this feeling of peace I have away from me and its SO hard to get back to here.  I'm not letting it go this time.  I deserve this.  I deserve happiness.