first date failure
So its been over 3 months since the breakup with my EX. Last week I went on a date and had an adult evening. It was ok. Then the next two days sent me into a spiral spin of depression and sadness. I just wanted to lay down and die. I felt used.
I cancelled the second date this last tuesday, i could not go, i was not wanting to go out. I didnt felt like being in that situation.
My EX showed up after my races satuday night, it was annoying, stressful and had made me angry again. IT had been a month since she reached out that i know of.
I lashed out at work, at my VP of our department. I was disrespectful and angry. It has made me realise i have always had issues with authority figures all my life.
I am angry with my EX for the lies.
My aunt called me last night and asked if i was truly over my EX, asked me if i had prayed to God about it, I do pray everyday.
Replies
Hey. This date wasn't a failure. It was just a necessary event that had to either show you that you were ready...or not. You just need more time. Sometimes, its helpful to try something (even if it didn't work out how you wanted) just so you can ascertain what you need to do. I've jumped ship too soon and had the same feelings/response. I also don't like authority figures. Too many are on a power trip...I resigned from my job this past Thursday bc administration decided they were going to terminate 2 of my faculty who were planning to resign part-way into the semester. They were staying to help mentor the new staff who would be taking over for them. Administration instead wanted them to mentor for 2 days then blindside them w/ a termination. To me, it's an unethical way of doing things, especially when either of my faculty would have voluntarily agreed to resign sooner. I couldn't work w/ ppl who lie and plan vindictive things. Wish more ppl were kind. Sorry, your dislike for authority figures threw me into a vent! I hope you're doing okay. It's good you canceled the next date. Don't do anything you don't want to do! Hugs!
Above all you have a Kind heart, Your lash out is just because there is something deep internally that needs to be addressed and cleaned
out, You have to be willing to go deep down into that dark room and clean it out, Talk to you later, Hugs