finnaly back for the day 1.29.2011

well, im back for a while. son went out so i took my meds so i can type. have had a pretty good week. left house 4 times this week. started taking a creative wrinting class. i love it.l trying to get my memory to start working again.he said i was a natural. yay. will be going every week. i worked out hard on wed. im still very sore and hurting from that. but i feel like i got somethingdone. stayin in today. legs and arms still hurt so bad. b.f. came over last night. was up till 5 a.m.ate way too much so kinda sick today. getting nervouis about my b.d party. its just family, but im still nervoius. i dont get out much and my table and outside manners are not good. i wont hardly ever eat in a resuarant. i feel like a chimp who just learned to use silverware. wow 50 nyrs old. w/ the way i lived my life, almost died for real 4 times.i think most people never thought id make it this long, but guess what i did it.well, i still have a few days till i can say that for sure. will see oldest son and his wife. very exsited about that. so sick of the snow. supposed to go see counseler on tuesday, so of course we will get an ice storm. ya thats about right.being a wild child of the 70,s, i was wild in the streets. so nieve. hichhiked to callifornia when i was 13. my poor mother, god rest her soul. i realy put her through it. i was a terrible teenager, and now she is gone for many yrs, and we never got to become freinds. oh well. i realy need someone to build that time machine allready. started the kava kava syrum. seems to help somewhat. still have to take the xanex. trying to get down to my perscribed amout. not there yet. still sore from the workout. but its a good hurt. son went out to drink of course. he is doing good in school, i wish he wouldnt drink so much. im so worried about my children. oldest will be35, yunest who lives w/me will be 27. wow so worried about them both. ok, meds kiked in. going to go eat something and take my 4 hr nap. might go to store later. dont know yet. ok, maybe moore later.............