finding myself

after I wrote the previous entry, my day kind of descended into sadness and fatigue at the prospect of starting anything.

I kind of just thought along the lines that I had done work already, maybe that was enough? Is this what I am capable of? Is this the 'max'?

For some wonderful reason, the stars aligned and I have found myself. The center cleaves away at times by remembered and hidden stressors - I become a ball of reaction and stoicism to get through the moment or the day - but right now I feel positive and even game for what life has to offer. I have LOT to be grateful for - I'll get washed up now.