finding dignity
I came home from Emil's and just felt so low and awful.
A friend had suggested yesterday that rather than push myself
to be kind to myself and just give myself a break.
Well, I came home and was feeling low and disorganized.
I ultimately decided to get back in the saddle of the upkeep of
my home. I took a shower, did chores and dressed.
Not only did the maintenance of my home, and self, improve my
state of mind - it also showed me to have a fighting spirit about
the dignity I deserve to give myself.
I know that when we're out there dealing with the world there can
be all sorts of confusion and knocks - but I know that it's real important
to give myself that dignity - and also being alone now is showing me
that I need to keep engaged after a short time of rest and reorganization
of my day, person and home.
So we may need time alone to assess and regroup, reorganize - we also need engagement.
And I for one can spin mightily if I don't give myself that engagement.
I'm getting better though - because now I know what it is.
Blue is fantastic by the way. His need for attention and care make my day!!
Replies
A 12 step cliche is that when we come to the step of making a list of all the persons we have harmed, we discover we need to put ourselves on the top of our lists. Few of us abuse the world around us as harshly as we abuse ourselves. That roving recollection was inspired by your friend's suggestion to let up on the pushing and just give yourself a break. It's easier to grant others dignity when I can grant it to myself.
Did you know that the hardcore medieval monks who practiced self-flagellation put tacks on the ends of their whip strands so that those strands would dig deeper? You've pondered allot about monastery life. . . Ya think joining one of those monasteries might be easier than giving yourself a break?
thanks arfie. I am having a hard day. Sending peace.