finding acceptance
How do you accept that your family will never ever ever ever provide you with the healthy love and mental support you need? How do you accept that? I just want to know how. How do I finally fucking get that people in this family are nuts, they are addicts, they are alcoholics, they are belligerent children. All of them. I am, as I always have been, the only adult in this family. And I love them all very very much and I know they love me and I know they try their best. That's why I've hung in there so long trying to change them- well trying to help them change- but that's not fair of me- they don't want to change. I'm the one who's different. I'm the one who has all these issues. They are more than happy to just ignore life and escape. They seem to not see any other way and they seem to have accepted that. I'm the one with the problem. So how? How the fuck do I accept that I will never get any form of emotional nourishment from my immediate family? How do I stop being angry about it? I just really have no fucking idea how. I just don't want to be pissed off anymore. I don't want to be sad anymore. I know they're trying their best. I know they can't help it. I just have to accept it but I have no fucking idea how.
If you are reading this and you have any suggestions I would love to hear them.
If you are reading this and you have any suggestions I would love to hear them.
Replies
I just miss my ma so much. She used to be this happy person who always had something positive to say. That just isn\'t her anymore. I have to learn to accept that. Its really hard though
WOW!! i really thought i was alone on this one. mine are alcoholics, addicts, love my sister more etc. im 31. i had this problem my whole life and the only person that it was hurting was me. being so angry, going into denial, feeling so alone, issues with abandonment. i stopped talking to them for a year and a half after they did something so fucked up, that i absolutely could not talk to them anymore.. i suffered so much during that time. it made me realize that i was unhappy with them in my life but unhappier with them out of my life. my therapist helped me realize that my family is limited. they can NEVER give me the support i need. when by boyfriend punched me in the face and i asked to sleep on their floor til i got an apartment they said no. i have to live with that. but they are sick. they were not treated well. someone taught them how to treat us this way. they didnt get love and support... that we need. In life we have to decide whether it\'s better for us to accept them as limited and try to appreciate the few things they can give us. or whether they\'re too toxic and we\'re better off without them. in my case i experienced not talking to them... and u know what ... i harbored all the anger, depression, pain... i refused to forgive... until i realized this is worse for me then accepting their limitations and enjoying what i can from them.
god bless you serenity!! i sincerely understand.