finding a kind of peace
I was struggling today during services and just with living here...
it seemed so confusing - so much brother and sisterhood
and yet formality too ??
why did I choose to come here? Not enough rules?
not enough predictability? not enough structure?
I think I have found my grace with this - things are very good.
I am back in my 'cell' now and with Blue.
I was not overwhelmed at the finale of service -
There was no pressure to regard in a high anxious
way - it was just beautiful - and I could accept that
without feeling the pressure - if that makes sense?
thinking about all those things made me happier
Replies
it seems like wherever i go, there i am. one of the bennies i gain from journaling is that i can read the previous entries leading up to the decision i am currently doubting/questioning. it often astounds me to discover how much my feeling change with the old feeling all too easily forgotten. you journaled quite allot on this decision. i suggest you get reading.
for what it's worth
i opine that it was a solid, well thought out decision. give yourself time to learn.
just opining. . .
thanks arfie!!