Finally, some normality commming

  Finally some releife came big time with my taxes. Got a pretty big chunk of cash, and I didn't fuck around much with it. Got the hydro paid off, which was causing a lot of stress. Paid ahead with Bell too, as well as a month ahead with rent. I figured I just better do the right thing for a change before I get some stupid thoughts about using. had a few days that i got drinking, and of course at the very wrong time. My computer was out of service, and that did cause a big change for awhile. having a computer can be good for adicts because it keeps us ocupied, but when it's out that can be hard because then you have to much time to think. But overall everything is good again. I'm starting to come to the conclusion, that perhaps for some, fucking up is sometimes just a part of things. We all go to meetings, and want so much to be success stories, but the reality is that isn't the way it goes. Sometimes we can just do the best we can, but there may be times we fall. The most important thing, I think, is to never give up. Do that and your dead. I don't spend a lot of time anymore beating myself up over falls. That just seems a real waste of time. Life can be hard enough without our own inflictions of punishment, or pain, which mostly comes from our own misconception of not being able to live up to the standards of others. So it's good being back online. I really did miss my friends, and the certain daily things that I do that help to encourage me. I like reading meditations, and having that conection with others just trying to live. It lets me know that I am a part of life in some way. Have a bit of a cold today, so this is it for now. Thank you, Lord.