Finally got to see the endocrinologist.
I never expected this to happen - the VA actually paid for me to see an endocrinologist! I had the initial bloodwork drawn, and with any luck, in about two weeks I'll be on T! We discussed the pros and cons of different methods of taking T, and have pretty well settled on me using the gel, since I live alone(except for my cats) and have no one to help me with injections. On the plus side, I wasn't really looking forward to a life of taking shots.
I am so happy right now! I just hope everything goes smoothly so I can finish this stage of transitioning and move on with my life as a guy.
In other news, my legal name change has been delayed - they forgot to tell me I had to get state and federal criminal records checks done; which can take weeks to hear back - so I have to scrape up more money and send the forms in - with fingerprints! - and wait for the reports. This is getting bothersome; no wonder so many pay extra to have a lawyer do this for them.
Still, I'm getting closer to being myself - a guy - in the eyes of the law. Just a few extra hoops to jump through, nothing major. Maybe things will go faster than I expect.
I'm thinking of having a party on Halloween - my favorite day of the year. Nothing large, just something to celebrate the end of the feminine version of me and the beginning of the masculine version that I am.
I know once I start on T, the real physical transformations begin; and they will take time to happen. I'll be going through a second puberty... not a wonderful thought, given how the first time went. At least this time, I am looking forward to the expected changes, instead of dreading them. I anticipate the next few years will be interesting, as my body - and mind - adapts and alters. Wish I could speed things up, but I know better than to rush my body's transformation -- I need the time to adjust to the changes as much as my body does. I'll keep to the prescribed doses of T, and let things go at the correct pace for me. This is my life here - I want to do this right, because there are no do-overs!
I hope my mother is around to see the final outcome of all this - she has been so supportive, so helpful, so loving and accepting, I really want her to get to see how this turns out. She's 79. She has seen the whole world change so much since she was born; I am still amazed and very grateful that she has been able - and willing - to take all of this in stride. We even joke about what's happening, and discuss things I never thought I'd be able to speak of around her. She is curious, and her mind is active, so no topic is really off-limits with her. I love and respect that lady; and am very aware how lucky I am to have her in my life. Thank you so much, Mom, for being the lady you are, and for accepting me as I am.
I guess I am one of the lucky ones - my entire family hasn't turned against me, my friends haven't abandoned me. I have been more or less accepted by them, and life has kept on going on, mostly unchanged. Those who haven't accepted me, I allow their space and give them the time they need to work it through, knowing it really isn't ME personally they aren't accepting, it's the perceived change that has confused them. If they come around eventually, good. If not, well,... life goes on. I know they don't - and really can't - understand, and I accept that. No point in being hurt by it; nothing to be done but move on.
One day, being transgender will be accepted as the birth defect it is, and undergoing the necessary operations/hormonal treatments/etc. to correct it will be as acceptable as the treatments for any other birth defect. As will the acceptance of those who choose not to treat it. But until then, I am thankful for the help - especially the unexpected help - and support I have been given along the way.
Now, if someone would invent dishes and laundry that wash and dry themselves, I'd be fine!
I am so happy right now! I just hope everything goes smoothly so I can finish this stage of transitioning and move on with my life as a guy.
In other news, my legal name change has been delayed - they forgot to tell me I had to get state and federal criminal records checks done; which can take weeks to hear back - so I have to scrape up more money and send the forms in - with fingerprints! - and wait for the reports. This is getting bothersome; no wonder so many pay extra to have a lawyer do this for them.
Still, I'm getting closer to being myself - a guy - in the eyes of the law. Just a few extra hoops to jump through, nothing major. Maybe things will go faster than I expect.
I'm thinking of having a party on Halloween - my favorite day of the year. Nothing large, just something to celebrate the end of the feminine version of me and the beginning of the masculine version that I am.
I know once I start on T, the real physical transformations begin; and they will take time to happen. I'll be going through a second puberty... not a wonderful thought, given how the first time went. At least this time, I am looking forward to the expected changes, instead of dreading them. I anticipate the next few years will be interesting, as my body - and mind - adapts and alters. Wish I could speed things up, but I know better than to rush my body's transformation -- I need the time to adjust to the changes as much as my body does. I'll keep to the prescribed doses of T, and let things go at the correct pace for me. This is my life here - I want to do this right, because there are no do-overs!
I hope my mother is around to see the final outcome of all this - she has been so supportive, so helpful, so loving and accepting, I really want her to get to see how this turns out. She's 79. She has seen the whole world change so much since she was born; I am still amazed and very grateful that she has been able - and willing - to take all of this in stride. We even joke about what's happening, and discuss things I never thought I'd be able to speak of around her. She is curious, and her mind is active, so no topic is really off-limits with her. I love and respect that lady; and am very aware how lucky I am to have her in my life. Thank you so much, Mom, for being the lady you are, and for accepting me as I am.
I guess I am one of the lucky ones - my entire family hasn't turned against me, my friends haven't abandoned me. I have been more or less accepted by them, and life has kept on going on, mostly unchanged. Those who haven't accepted me, I allow their space and give them the time they need to work it through, knowing it really isn't ME personally they aren't accepting, it's the perceived change that has confused them. If they come around eventually, good. If not, well,... life goes on. I know they don't - and really can't - understand, and I accept that. No point in being hurt by it; nothing to be done but move on.
One day, being transgender will be accepted as the birth defect it is, and undergoing the necessary operations/hormonal treatments/etc. to correct it will be as acceptable as the treatments for any other birth defect. As will the acceptance of those who choose not to treat it. But until then, I am thankful for the help - especially the unexpected help - and support I have been given along the way.
Now, if someone would invent dishes and laundry that wash and dry themselves, I'd be fine!
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