Finally gonna finish this first entry.

First of all I have been attempting to write this journal entry for the past few days and have not been able to complete it. 
We have been married for 17 years. We met in a youth group. I knew she was something special! Her parents accepted right away. I could do no wrong. We have now been a couple for 22 years. The past five years have been crazy. I admit I have been dismissive about things and taken her and her opinon for granted many times. I also have taken for grantec her kind and giving heart. She has always been inspiring to me how she can continually be so caring to others while they treat her unfairly or unkind. Many times I have told her how I think the situation should be handled. Or how to return the sarcasim. Well now maybe I should have listened more closely. Observed and studied her. It is quite possible today would look and feel so much differently.
Hindsight being what it is I wish I would have done so much differently. Back in the summer of 95 I discovered a few emails exchanged between her and another guy. It included ther  plans for the both to meet up. I headed the meeting ofp by calling the OM phone number. Finding out he lived at home with his parents and the dissapointment in her voice. When i confronted her she finalliy said it was because I was ignoring her quite often. 
Fast foward to today and a second occurance has happened. Our marriage is in trouble today. We had  been goin  to joint counseling to the first of the year. Until  our insuance changed and now we have to pay. She doesnt want to go back be told how much of bad person. We continue to discuss the possibility of returning to couples counseling.
Good night all!!!