Finally Feeling Happy :)
It has been months since I felt this good, this free! I finally signed up for a support group for survivors of narcissistic abuse. We will see if it works. They are supposed to teach you tools to facilitate your healing and also provide support. All I care about is that it helps me... even one tinsy-weensy tiny bit. It is about time!
I have finally decided to commit myself fully to my healing now. I have been dwelling on the past... What he did wrong... What I did wrong and the horrible events that occurred. There is so much more than what I have written here. Some of it is embarrassing, and I am not sure if I am ready to share it now... Or ever. But out it will come, if only in my private journals.
I have also decided to enroll in a class to complete one of my pre-med reqs. I cannot believe I am doing it!!! I am taking the first steps to becoming a doctor. I am tackling it slowly. I have been out of school for a long time and need to brush up on some of the course load before I am ready to apply! But gee whiz, I am doing it!!!
My changes are not making everyone happy, and the shit is not even close to hitting the fan yet! My decision may very well piss off just about everyone close to me outside of my immediate circle of friends... My family, everybody. I may lose my business over this. I am going to keep it under wraps for as long as I can. I am going to arrange to meet with different medical schools and get a feel about what they are looking for, and who might might be a good match for me.
If I get into it, and I decide it is not right for me, then at least I will know.
I have lost about 10lbs since leaving my ex, without trying!!! I am truly becoming happier and happier... Who knows, tomorrow may be a bad day, and that is okay. I know it will oscillate... Goods days, bad days...
But right now, I am thankful to be right in this moment!
Goal for tomorrow, register for a writing class, pick up some MCAT books, meditate and go for a walk with my dog. And maybe even catch up with some work! ;)
I can do this!!! :)
I have finally decided to commit myself fully to my healing now. I have been dwelling on the past... What he did wrong... What I did wrong and the horrible events that occurred. There is so much more than what I have written here. Some of it is embarrassing, and I am not sure if I am ready to share it now... Or ever. But out it will come, if only in my private journals.
I have also decided to enroll in a class to complete one of my pre-med reqs. I cannot believe I am doing it!!! I am taking the first steps to becoming a doctor. I am tackling it slowly. I have been out of school for a long time and need to brush up on some of the course load before I am ready to apply! But gee whiz, I am doing it!!!
My changes are not making everyone happy, and the shit is not even close to hitting the fan yet! My decision may very well piss off just about everyone close to me outside of my immediate circle of friends... My family, everybody. I may lose my business over this. I am going to keep it under wraps for as long as I can. I am going to arrange to meet with different medical schools and get a feel about what they are looking for, and who might might be a good match for me.
If I get into it, and I decide it is not right for me, then at least I will know.
I have lost about 10lbs since leaving my ex, without trying!!! I am truly becoming happier and happier... Who knows, tomorrow may be a bad day, and that is okay. I know it will oscillate... Goods days, bad days...
But right now, I am thankful to be right in this moment!
Goal for tomorrow, register for a writing class, pick up some MCAT books, meditate and go for a walk with my dog. And maybe even catch up with some work! ;)
I can do this!!! :)
Replies