Finally dreamed
I dreamed about my husband last night. I only dreamed once since it happened and it only lasted a few minutes. This one was longer and more detailed. In it, I'm sitting in the living room and he walks in and I tell him that I thought he was dead. He smiles at me and goes into the kitchen for his customary bag of potato chips. He sits on the sofa and I sit in the chair and just stare at him, greatful to have him back after the nightmare I had where he'd died.
He doesn't talk, just sits there and eats the chips. I tell him I love him and wake up.
Even though I'm not totally aware that it's a dream when it's happening, I have a sense that it is. It would have been nice to interact with him, but it's better than nothing at all.
He doesn't talk, just sits there and eats the chips. I tell him I love him and wake up.
Even though I'm not totally aware that it's a dream when it's happening, I have a sense that it is. It would have been nice to interact with him, but it's better than nothing at all.
Replies
At least in your dream you told your husband that you loved him. It was important to you no matter what he did. It is a positive thing. It means that you love him and wanted him to know it.
Any dream about a loved one that is calm and peaceful as yours was is to be cherished. Yours sounds very positive. So many of my dreams seemed to be nightmares about her death. The only bad thing I can say about the about the few pleasant dreams I have had about her is the intense feeling of sadness when I wake up and realize the dream was not real.
So happy you had this experience. I have dreamt about mine a few times too, but not in the detail you have. When I last spoke to my DH in his comatose state, that is one thing I asked for. For him to come back to me through my dreams if he at all could. I know that my husband absolutely would if he could find a way. Perhaps God is not permitting him to right now. But I know there will be times when he will. At least I hope so anyway.
I envy you your dream. I haven\'t had any of Frank since he passed, that I can remember. It was wonderful that you got to tell him that you loved him. So important. I don\'t think we can say those word enough. It was such a blessing that you could see him again. Hugs Jane
I finally had my first happy dream about my husband last night, too, and I was coming here to post about it! First I had a dream in which he was telling me that he didn\'t want to live another year or two with no hope and had given up back when he got the bad scans. I asked him why he hadn\'t told me that. He said he was letting himself die and I had to tell him that he had already died back in February. I was afraid he would vanish after I said that like in the Twilight Zone, but he was still there and I was holding him tightly.
But then I had a second, more normal dream, in which we\'d gone to a party or something like that with a group of people and he was bringing me food, teasing me, and it was very lighthearted and happy. It was a party we hadn\'t gone to in the past in real life, so it almost felt as if our life together was continuing and this was something in the future. I woke up feeling pretty good. (There were more details, but I\'ve already lost them although I tried so hard to hang on.)
I\'m glad that you had this dream. Hopefully he\'ll start talking to you in future dreams and they will give you more peace and comfort and maybe even some happiness.
In the six months since my husband has passed away I can only remember one dream and in that dream he was leaving me for another women...so It wasn\'t even a pleasant dream..I think maybe it was a way of having him gone but not him having died...maybe I was thinking I could live with that easier ...who knows what our subconscious is trying to tell us...but it was nice that your\'s was a good dream and you were able to tell him you loved him..hugs
The dream was sweet. It is those ordinary things that we miss so much and long to have back. I have had only a couple of dreams of John that I remember well in these last 7 months which is odd because I tend to remember my dreams often. In those dreams I don\'t want to wake up. I just want to stay there and be with him.
Isn\'t THAT the depth of our wishful thinking? How I long for Craig to appear and tell me his dying was a big mistake and he was back. I think I have a not-so-tiny corner of my brain where I still believe that could happen. It really is nice to see them and be with them in our dreams when it happens.
Just this week I read something about this type of dream. In her book \"When Your Soul Aches,\" Lois Mowday Rabey says that these dreams are a very healthy and normal part of grieving. They are part of the denial stage and important to the healing process. I found this interesting because I thought denial was the one stage that I had not experienced yet. I couldn\'t quite understand how I was going to go through this necessary stage when I knew he was gone the moment I watched his soul leave his body. I never once doubted that heart wrenching fact.
I have, however, dreamed a couple of times that he was still here. Very short, unclear, snipets of the dreams is all I remember. I believe he still had cancer in all the dreams and know he was in the wheelchair in one of them, but he was here and it was present day. The author points out that what we know intellectually is often too horrifying for us to grasp emotionally. The periods of denial help us adjust to the the loss.
I know what you mean by the statement \"it\'s better than nothing at all.\" My dreams are not full and comforting and I long to have a \"meaningful dream,\" but they are better than nothing at all. And I feel even better about them by reading that book that suggests they are also a healthy thing for me.