Filtering
something i am realizing about the monastery is that they are very much
about the rules and the whole system for the monastics - the prayers, the chanting, the services,
the getting work done, meals - it's very communal and hierarchical in terms of who decides what - but things are so unsaid and there's
a great deal of sensitivity and backlash when you ask for consideration of a certain kind - there's just not a lot of practice in diplomacy it seems - they don't engage
emotionally - and people are on the ends of their chairs ready to react- to defend or attack - i am guilty
a great deal of sensitivity and backlash when you ask for consideration of a certain kind - there's just not a lot of practice in diplomacy it seems - they don't engage
emotionally - and people are on the ends of their chairs ready to react- to defend or attack - i am guilty
of that unfortunately I reacted with this past note sent to me by the elder - it has taught me so much to be here and yet I feel like the way things
are done, are now having a retarding effect. I need to learn how
to filter things emotionally - when the nun I's note to the Elder
was forwarded to me without explanation - i reacted, i saw red - I don't know
what the Elder had wanted to achieve by sending it to me - (and send it without explanation or introduction -)
but perhaps that's a test of emotional filtering the text - I can't be a mind reader
but maybe for self preservation I can get better at emotional intelligence
in cases like these -
I've evaluated the elder now too
I’m still processing stuff and getting more positive. I suppose this last upset was a lesson in filtering. People can say things extremely precisely to have things understood or they can speak from a personal perspective in terms of what they hope to achieve being the focus. My father is a genius at this filtering. A friend from high school (Rob W.) was told in a work interview by the office person “ I can’t help you” Rather than take it the wrong way Rob took it from “I can’t help YOU” to “I” can’t help you. It’s made all the difference and he soldiered on with his career and has made a very successful career at that.
Sort of like, << even if I’m the topic, that doesn’t mean “it’s all about me” >>?
Replies
I find humans have a “hostility” more than ever lately. I have had to adjust in my current job and allow the “rise” to affect my own hostile response at times in order to be heard. Not my nature and I hate that I have to do this.
I guess monasteries have “people culture” too just like anything else.
I think sometimes for those of us who have battled a lot in life, there is nothing we want more than peace and calm and an impossible utopia in the environment around us. All we can control is our own sense of internal peace, however, and enough of it to be our calm when we MUST face hostility.
All practice. Right there with ya on that, partner!
Thanks Nikki!
Big hug sweetie.....I think the world at large is feeling emotional right now
I hope that you have a peaceful weekend
thanks Janet! Same to you! All good things for Janet!!
i find myself a bit shocked to hear that those rules, both spoken and assumed, surprise you. triple so for the challenges of a communal lifestyle. in the roman catholic hierarchy, the sub-groups are called, "orders." when i learned of this as a child in a criminally chaotic environment, the idea of an orderly community sounded like a preview of heaven. god led me to the military route rather than religious, but it satisfied my throw-away kid's craving for that orderly community structure. reading along here gave me the impression you were riding a similar craving for orderly community. alas, every lifestyle seems to have its dark side. WHERE'S MY PERFECT WORLD! ! !
and the we get to the emotional gyrations of career development. . . me duele la cabeza. . .
easy does it, father grasshopper. small steps, big faith and lots of prayer.
breathing with you.
for what it's worth
rob w uses a technique similar to one i use to get me through the confundalty days. i call mine, "reframing," but filtering is an apt description. it be a handy tool and it works when i work it.
Thanks Arfie!!!
I love your approach to all this.....first confusion and maybe a little anger as a result but then the light shines on you deriving the lesson in this! Well done! Now you know what it all means, so you can forgive and let it go!
God Bless
thanks Bob!