filter and love
I wrote this to someone very close to me.
Hi again, I’m drawn to tell you because you and everyone are important to me as a source of setting the tone of my life. This is what I wrote before we talked today.
It’s helping me see and respect individuality and also empathy.
--
i had a marvelous realization this morning.
It's been showing its face to me now and then lately.
it finally birthed this morning while standing in chapel.
in terms of my relationship with my others and me -
and the sisters here - and anyone - is that
having our way of the "way feel life should be" is
a commonality definitely for both me and others in my life.
I've noticed that with the sisters as well.
it humbles me to the point of knowing I have
to have a filter - both parties do have a filter of a kind - and put relationships into a kind
of perspective - a decoder process -to understand what
we're trying to say - sometimes it's pleasant - sometimes
it's spikey (perhaps someone is having a bad day) but
over all patience and love is still there- I aim for that
we each may have our own sense of linearity about what we like and what we’re saying
and how we would like things to be - but then we also
have to be big enough to be able to interpret for each other and help manage
the moods and good and bad stuff that comes along
with each other - knowing that it's (the bad stuff) is something to investigate
or just leave alone as part of knowing the others' character in the morning say after sleeping and just waking up
etc..
the sisters are forever pointing out my mistakes or the way they feel things should be
but I just know it's something that comes out of them - and putting that through the filter
and I have now - I realize where it's coming from -
I’m learning to filter myself and others
Replies
That's the hard part, stepping through those moments of someone else's '....' view, perspective, choice of words and actions, and seeing it as common sharing. Here's to you!
I've started reading a book about our different perspective's and then there's the truth
Filter's are important for sure sweetie
Big hug...xo
thanks Mid and Janet!
I was thinking in particular about others in my life today and that I was putting a kind of pressure on them with my own way of things,
to be something for me and perhaps in the way that I think things should be. In the fact
that for some people close to me in my life - I truly cannot communicate on some levels with them sometimes and that's made me
think about the nature of my perspective. It made me angry and frustrated but it also made me bend inside.
This other person has his whole sense of how things should be - and I think in another way.
But we each are doing the same thing, we're each on a fundamental level "building a life" or "building a cartoon" in how we want
things in our life. We can exist on that mutuality - in my mind - as it just fortifies me to just 'let go' and focus on building my life.
It helps me regard him and others and how they have an idea of their lives and how the are making that happen.
The sisters here are very much rules oriented. It's not my nature - but I will think on that.
As I thought about building my own life - at moments I started to question myself. Here I was in desperate stress
and thankfully thought "What is it that I am expecting from myself? In my own cartoon" it gave me a reasonability for myself and others in the kind of pressures we put on ourselves - sometimes subconsciously- but we're the ones building - :).
way back in my early therapy (70's) word parsing was my favorite form of deflection. as long as i was able to keep the focus on **how** to say everything, i never had to look at **what** i was actually saying and i was better able to guard the amnesia i had developed during childhood. i was always being told (often harshly) to forgive and forget. who needs to forgive what they can forget? i forgot with my characteristic proclivity to excess. anything worth doing is worth over-doing.
in the decades since i started remediating that symptom, i have noticed that people often **agree from different libraries." the arguments are over **how** to say whatever it is they are agreeing on. is it a truth, a viewpoint, a perspective, an opinion or proof that you are an idiot? ya can't be a genius unless you agree with me in my choice of words.
i just don't know which club is the owner of the truth
i just don't know which right is the rightest of the right
i just don't know which me i should learn to be
i just don't know
i really, really do not know
and that's okay when i am walking with god
i trust god to know and to let me know when i need to know
for now, i shoot to wear my love like an armor and forgiveness like a shield.
say ^it^ whatever way rocks your neurons, my friend.
The book I've started reading is A Course in Miracles and the truth is God , then there's our different perspective's on it
Really facinating book...I haven't read much yet but It makes sense to me
Thanks Arfie and Janet!
@ SunCloudJD I have been studying that book for the past 15 years and it has changed my life exponentially! Yes, It makes perfect sense to me as well!