Fighting through . . . . . .
Today is better than yesterday and the day before! I feel less ashamed and bad about myself than I did after the weekend. . . I know that staying away hour by hour, day by day is the ONLY way to get rid of this pain, but I have to remember when the pain is gone how horrible I felt going back. That's the one thing that tends to happen to me, and I'm sure many others - - - - the big pain goes away with some time and then you forget all the horrible things about this addiction, the casinos, and the whole environment.... we let the really bad stuff slip out of our memories and go back, again with the rose-colored glasses on thinking things are going to be different. It's time I woke up and stopped kidding myself - this is getting very old. :]
Just for today - I WILL NOT GAMBLE! I will feel good about me & my life without gambling.
Smokeygirl
Just for today - I WILL NOT GAMBLE! I will feel good about me & my life without gambling.
Smokeygirl
Replies
You know what? I can still remember (16 months ago) how I felt when I lost a lot of money and how I wished I could win so I could sit there another 2 hours. I remember the deep sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and almost wanting to throw up or cry and sometimes I did cry on my way to the car and still thinking, do I have any money in the ash tray of the car? Whenever I got urges I would dredge up the feelings and my worst days at the casino. If your memory is short, try writing them down now while they are fresh and the next time you have the urge, read what you wrote and see if it makes you recall the misery you caused yourself and perhaps your family. hugs barb
Thanks, Barb! I have written them down - the worst feelings - you\'re right, recall the misery and why repeat it?? Doesn\'t make any sense.
Thanks again and have a great day!
smokeygirl