Fight

this has been so hard on me but the anger I have now that I wanted is here with a vengeance. Last night my husband got a text from a coworker (girl) and it seemed way too friendly and even though I was trying to hold it in , I lashed out , I was so angry i couldve went blind, I yelled at him . I told him he was a coward a weak man and much more . I couldn't even stop myself even though something inside was telling me to stop that there was no point to it. I'm trying to get through this divorce uncontested and I couldn't control my anger. I have never yelled at him like that . I was venomous. he was angry which I didn't want but my mouth kept moving! I'm so frustrated with myself. I thought he would for sure leave and make problems with the divorce. Thankfully I think his poor planning put him in a situation where he needs a place to stay . So he pretty much held back on what I know he wanted to say ( hurtful things) I calmed down and shut up after.  I got my brain back in order. I'm calm again told myself nothing matters but getting through he this divorce. It was a rough night but somehow I made it through. And things seem to be calm again. This pain is so hard to deal with . We are waiting for the final paperwork comes so we can review and then if it's ok we go in and sign, then it will be filed . and after that let the courts sort through it. it takes time and waiting is really hard right now.