Feels like it's hopless.

I feel like I'll never get help for this feeling that I always feel. I'm probably only happy one day out of the week and it's only for a short time. I really don't know what to do most of the time. Sometimes I just feel like curling up in my bed and starve to death. I just don't feel like I'll ever be un-depressed. It's hindering me from doing some things I use to enjoy. I'm trying to help myself, but it's hard to help yourself when you think that you aren't worth the time. I really just feel like crying forever. I have a boyfriend and he gets sad because he doesn't know what to do when I'm too depressed to even want to talk to him sometimes. I feel horrible for that because he's done so much for me and all he wants to do is make me feel better. I feel like a horrible person all the time and wish that I could just be happy. I feel like my brain and my body don't want to feel that. I've been depressed all my life basically and I'm trying to change my body's routine and the way I think. It's just hard and I give up some days.