Feelings of ugh
So today was my doctor's appointment; it pretty much went as I figured it was going to, meaning my seroquel dose is being upped. But in all honesty, it really doesn't change things much. It raised a lot more questions about coping than it answered.
I can't really say it was the best thing to happen...but I can count the number of people I'm willing to trust face-to-face, DS notwithstanding, on one hand, which says an awful lot about how viable counseling is as an option. Factor in that the dose increase (it amounts to half of a 100mg pill more, which is small) really won't kick in until a couple of weeks into my summer courses, and stability just may as well be a pipe dream for the foreseeable future.
I really don't see anything else I can do other than just not give myself a chance to think about it, and keep myself occupied. But somehow, that just hasn't worked in the past. My self-esteem is so crap that I don't think I'm good at anything, and that goes for just about anything I've tried to use a hobby. Obviously this means some kind of mindset rebuild has to be done...
...
...but how?
I can't really say it was the best thing to happen...but I can count the number of people I'm willing to trust face-to-face, DS notwithstanding, on one hand, which says an awful lot about how viable counseling is as an option. Factor in that the dose increase (it amounts to half of a 100mg pill more, which is small) really won't kick in until a couple of weeks into my summer courses, and stability just may as well be a pipe dream for the foreseeable future.
I really don't see anything else I can do other than just not give myself a chance to think about it, and keep myself occupied. But somehow, that just hasn't worked in the past. My self-esteem is so crap that I don't think I'm good at anything, and that goes for just about anything I've tried to use a hobby. Obviously this means some kind of mindset rebuild has to be done...
...
...but how?
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