Feeling's

Having so many mixed feeling,still depressed over losing my daughter,I have faced the reality that she is gone forever and I will never see her again ,the very thought of that sickens me, I know I have no control over it any more no matter how much i pray it will never change, the hole in my heart will stay there for ever and I have to learn how to live the different life that has fallen on me. Like losing a arm or leg it's gone and every day you know some thing in your life  is missing. The sadness is another thing. Other people go on with there life and I am just where I am,the day she went to heaven. Not that that not hard enough,all my health problems , Migraines ,meniere's, Fibromyalgia,IBS,acid reflux, Anxiety, dizziness,ringing in my ears, constant pain. Then my family and friends for getting about me, My husband that only stays because a he can do what he wants ,he leaves me alone all the time ,he has his friends his golfing. Growing up I was waiting for my prince to come and save me, my mother died when i was 12 I   brought up my little sister,my father sexually abused me. I lost a husband a baby girl, my 37 year old daughter and All my life i tried to help other people, now its so lonely,but I still have my faith that God will get me through and that having found new friends here and that we help each other is Gods way of giving me hope.