Feeling rejected
Three months ago I contacted my stepson in England to ask about visiting in June (specifically 21-23 June) when a group of women from the village were going to the travelling to his home town for a hen party - so I would have company for travelling.
I had promised my husband that I would keep in touch with his son and family and I was trying to fulfil that promise although I have heard little to nothing from them since he died in October.
On Sunday my daughter in law called me to ask when I was coming (they had forgotten) and when I said next weekend she said "Oh OK well do you want to go to a BBQ?" When I asked who, where and why I discovered it was the parents of her best friend and it was their 40th Wedding Anniversary!! I tried to explain how uncomfortable I would feel (1) among nearly all couples (2) all strangers (3) a wedding anniversary and the reply was "well play it by ear and see how you get on".
I cant believe they could be so hurtful to forget and so insensitive to my feelings about the event. I have decided to still go on the trip but I will now stay in the hotel with the rest of the party (I was supposed to stay with them), go the theatre by myself on Saturday night, and spend the day with them only on Sunday, coming home with the girls on Monday as planned.
Am I being oversensitive in my reaction? I feel so gutted that they had forgotten the dates I was coming and therefore hadnt given it any thought at all.
I had promised my husband that I would keep in touch with his son and family and I was trying to fulfil that promise although I have heard little to nothing from them since he died in October.
On Sunday my daughter in law called me to ask when I was coming (they had forgotten) and when I said next weekend she said "Oh OK well do you want to go to a BBQ?" When I asked who, where and why I discovered it was the parents of her best friend and it was their 40th Wedding Anniversary!! I tried to explain how uncomfortable I would feel (1) among nearly all couples (2) all strangers (3) a wedding anniversary and the reply was "well play it by ear and see how you get on".
I cant believe they could be so hurtful to forget and so insensitive to my feelings about the event. I have decided to still go on the trip but I will now stay in the hotel with the rest of the party (I was supposed to stay with them), go the theatre by myself on Saturday night, and spend the day with them only on Sunday, coming home with the girls on Monday as planned.
Am I being oversensitive in my reaction? I feel so gutted that they had forgotten the dates I was coming and therefore hadnt given it any thought at all.
Replies
I\'m sorry for this happened to you and I wish I could tell you why, but I can\'t. I think your husband is well aware of how hard you have tried to keep the relationship with your stepson and the response is on his son, not you. Enjoy planning events that you can enjoy and do what your husband would want you to do. That would be having a good life for you. Sharon