feeling really grateful
I went to work today and then came home.
At work I worked at working as competently as I could.
I remembered an email I wrote yesterday and felt such little control
over my life and it's direction - and wondered what in the heck does anyone
do to combat this feeling of being out of control about one's life direction.
I thought how some people reach for different things and I realized I have been reaching for mental masturbation lol - that thought made me laugh out loud while i was busy on the market floor. I felt an acceptance - an unavoidable sense that my life was in a place where it was - and eventually I really just kept moving on - and I accepted that my life is what it is - it is not a movie - and with thoughts of acceptance I also grew to have big gratitude for things that are in my life...What could happen badly? I thought too, projecting fear for the future - I just thought i will deal with that as it comes my way.
I still struggle with the sense of what to do with myself - what choices can I possible effect change in my life...we shall see.
Replies
Big hug for you sweetie.... Good food for thought.... I think it's a pretty normal thing to want to jump into the future... I believe that most of us do it.... Ultimately all we really have though is the present time.... Gratitude feels good.... It's probably my greatest tool...... xo
thanks Jan! You are the bestest!