Feeling pretty weepy 2day

I'll blame it on the hormones.  ive cried a few times today.  i dont know if i can be happy about this baby while breaking up with her father? okay thats not true.  i realized that when the words hit the page. 
this is just an emotional time.  i love my husband a certain way.  perhaps not the way he needs me to.  and he loves me but not the way i need to be loved.  and its hard.
i wish there was a way i cld take a bath without having to sit down in a bath.  i guess like one of those walk in bath tubs for older people.
i dont really wanna take a shower but getting out of the tub is hard right now. so better not chance it.
my breakfast is in my throat.  i will b glad when thats over.
no later than wednesday this child will be here.  out of my body and starting a life independent of me.  im mostly ready for that.  sometimes it hurts 2 c that my children can have a wonderful relationship with their father who just happens to be my husband and for some reason i can not. 
i assume that i will get over it.  i will not always feel this way.  my oldest has a dif biological father and she has a relationship with her dad and i dont and thats fine.  perhaps preferable.  we are civil but not close and theres no loss for me.  not anymore.  perhaps someday i will feel the same about my husband.