feeling not good enough
I am to much of a deep thinker..everything has to be perfect in my eyes and I've come to realize the perfection I've been visualizing is unattainable. How to handle this realization is something that needs to be figured out. I feel I'm incapable of doing anything at all; that ill mess up completely, forget or just not be able to pick it up at all. I have trouble focusing and the thoughts of not being good enough are debilitating me. I've avoided jobs, classes, hobbies and auditions that could have potentially been something for me. Even if I do try something, I look at everyone else around me and compare myself to how they've done and find everything wrong with what I've done. The anxiety and panic I get from this is so horrifying sometimes I just don't know how to handle it at all. Its like not completely knowing yourself, your abilities and what you're capable of. I bartended for the first time after finishing classes for it and of course comparing myself to the other graduates thinking I was terrible. I got so nervous I messed up with the register and with some drinks in the beginning but got the swing of it towards the end. They never called me back..probably left a bad impression being so nervous and making those few mistakes..but I really did do well after that and the customers liked me. Now tomorrow I have training at another bar and I am absolutely terrified that I will mess up and make a fool out of myself. I don't know all the drinks and I know my hands will be shaking. I mean I know I should take my time breathe and just go slow but sometimes me being so nervous turns me incapable and ditsy and its just out of control. I just want to know I'm not alone..I mean, I know people get nervous starting new things but I obsess and get terrible panic from it.
Replies
you are not alone by a longshot, just keep at it and work the bugs out. You seem to be a great girl, and in a service oriented job like that the power of your persona can take you farther than technique alone. Hope it works out.
Everyone says that and everyone always tells me I\'m very charismatic and I actually did so well today I barely showed I was nervous and took it so well! The other bartender really liked me and told me I was even better than a lot of the other new people who tried tor the job. There\'s still so much to learnbj don\'t know a lot of the names of the liquors or what they are like rum or gin wise..I just know basics. I just don\'t want to look like an idiot and the boss is really a Dick! Hes a womanizer and thinks hes above everyone. I hope i can handle it because everyone else is really nice but I\'m only training now so I can see how I like it I guess and if anything its just more experience for me. I need to get started and comfortable because bartending is such good money and I need more money to save. I just need to keep my eyes on my goals I guess! Still feeling so iffy and anxious but way better
I used be be like you when i was young. U sound so much like i used to be.you know yourself more than u give yourself credit. You may want to try waitressing. Thats where I started working. Self talk helps. Tell ur self in the mirror before you get to work, I am good at my job. Hug yourself in the mirror. Love yourself. You are worth it. I know these things sound goofy, but it works. Do that every day. You are worth evrrthing you want to be!. I am also a mom, but no girls. You are special. Say this. You are!