Feeling my age etc. Its a downer day today.

I am feeling my age, weight etc.  Its a downer day today.  Who wants to be with a 55 years old woman anyways?  All the guys my age or older all want young hot women. Its so hard to meet someone.  I tried the online free dating service and it seems like such a meat market.  It is hard to go through all the profiles.  My friend Carol loves it and it suits her so much.  She is like a kid in the candy store.  I am different.  
Its a negative day like:
1.  Who wants to be with a 55 year old unemployed single woman?
2.  Who wants to hire a 55 year old unemployed woman?
3.  Who wants me?
Its okay.  I will get over it.  I will be like my old self again.  There are some days where it all sits on your shoulders and the next day you blow it off with a puff of air. 
I was having a lot of hot flashes since the beginning of the year.  Now the hot flashes are gone.  I am experiencing a lot of emotions.  I can cry at a drop of the hat on some days.  Today I just stayed home.  I did not feel like going out but it probably would have been the best for me if I went for a walk or something.
I am dating Dave but don't think it is a long term relationship.  I am registered on two free online dating services.  I always keep my eyes open to the possibilities. One never knows that is for sure.  I am tired of Dave's routine along with his room mate Rob and his female friend Alla.  I am just becoming tired of it all.
On the bright side, I get to babysit my grandson Tyson tomorrow.  I look forward to it greatly.  Next week Lisa and Grant are going to Las Vegas to help celebrate Grant's friend's wedding.  I will be staying at their place Wed-Friday.  Yahoo!
My brother Don has started a paper route.  If he does good, they might give him another route.  If this is the case, I can help him with both of us making some money.  Its an honest job that is for sure.  My  backup is if Lisa gets a 2nd job, they will hire me full-time to look after Tyson.  I can sure use the money.  Its an honest job as well.  I keep getting my resumes out on a regular basis so it is not me trying that is for sure.  
Yesterday I took my digital camera into Black's and got some pictures printed out. It did not cost that much and I love having the hard copy of pictures that I treasure.  I had five of Tyson, two of Dave, one of me, and two of my long time friend Wendy.  I already put them in my photo album and printed out labels for them.  I treasure my photo albums.  I look through them every so often.  For my mom, dad and Smokey, I created albums that are labelled "Tribute to my mom", "Tribute to my dad" and "Tribute to Smokey."  
I am wishing you all the best.  Let me know if you go through these horrible thoughts as well and how do you cope with them?  from Diane B.



Diane...I can certainly relate when it comes to the dating sites. I have given up..you are only 55, I am 60 and you are right the men tend to want younger women....I look at it as their lose! I am lucky I have a job, I hope I have it until I retire. It keeps me busy and keeping in contact with people on a daily basis. I wish you luck with you job search...and tomorrow is always another day...Hugs, Ellen