Feeling much better
Today was a good day. Not sure what changed, but i feel a lot better. didn't sleep so well last night because I didn't get my medication filled, and that always disrupts my sleep. it's still good tho. i got about four or three hours, and around 5;30 decided I might as well get busy. felt really good getting up at that time. I made my favourite coffee, espresso. Read the news, and played with the cats a bit, had a bath, and then called Paul. Of course he was still sleeping, but he said be up by 7. Felt so good, the sun was out and the birds were chirping. I think lately I've just been getting in a real rut of sleeping in until noon or so, missing half the day, and then working alone all day, getting pissed off about things, then comming home, and just going to bed again. Really kind of hum drum, and lonely. I think I need to startv getting up earlier so I can enjoy the whole day. I like that a lot better. having coffee in the morning, and reading the paper, and journaling always felt good before. It's like a little normality for me. I apologized to Dan today too for getting so crazy with him. That's not to say there wasn't a reason for me getting angry, but I don't want to act that way. It's really foolish, and childish to me, and I think I'm more grown up than that. So it was my reaction that I apoligized for. I didn't explain that to Dan. I just apologized for acting out of line, and left it at that. He apologized to for the way he acted. Made me feel really good to see the look in his face that he felt a lot better too. He really is a good person. He has his demons that he struggles with, but don't we all?. I know he lives with a lot of hurt that he tries to cover with drinking or drugs. Not really much differant in many ways from me. Forgiveness is such a good thing. When you see the look of reliefe in the other persons eyes, it just makes all that hurt and anger melt away. Thank you so much Lord for that experiance. Really made my day. I called Bob a little while ago, and he wanted to do some work. I could use some money so I said I would. I was thinking about going to Victoria park tonight to see the fireworks for Canada Day here, but I just don't really enjoy those things by myself. It would be great to see, but it just always seems better if it were with someone special. Oh well, not a big deal. I'll have that special person some day, I'm sure.. anyway, Bob's pretty cool at times to listen to and talk. He can drive me crazy working with, but nights like tonight I just want to be with him. Not really many sensible people to talk to around here, and he is a pretty wise person. I like that too.. Anyway, thank you Lord for the great day. Thank you for Dan, and for giving us both the ability to be grown up about our faults. I also pray that you help him to find his happiness. Help us all, Lord. Thank you.