feeling motivated

I feel motivated to exercise more and more. Sitting still just isn't part of what I want.

I go to work, and that's active, but I need and want to do some significant kind of exercise

each day. A project, an accomplishment. I yearn for it.

I feel my body 'creaking like a rusty gate' if I don't.

I really hope I can make this motivation extend to other things in my life. I am tired

of being tired or delicate with myself. Quite often I start to think about things that I think would be fun to do

and yet then I back off - with hesitation and I think of the pain involved. 

I really want to know why I do this or how to motivate myself

to do more stuff with my time. I try to put all these self reflective thoughts and observations about my searching into words..

I feel like I have to find that answer - that truth 'to know how to express it'...and yet - doing that

kind of brings me down...Brings me to a place of tiredness and sensitivity. Life is so short. I need to shake that stuff

off and somehow try and just 'do' and 'keep doing' and reckon the self management so that I can both rest and motivate....and 'motor on' :) - I'll talk about this with my therapist - she'll have some good observations I am sure. She's a smart, kind lady.