Feeling Hopeless Once Again
I've noticed remarkable changes in my sleeping routine, which are due to physical exhaustion, along with symptoms of depression. During the middle of the day, I feel an overwhelming desire to sleep, and late at night.....I'm unable to sleep. I haven't taken good care of myself lately, and not sure how long I can carry the "weight of the world" on my shoulders. Sometimes, it's more than I can handle, which leaves me feeling more frustrated, and overwhelmed. I've finally accepted that mom's illness is incurable, but there are other concerns which also affect my life. If it were possible, I'd consider running away to start over again, but I can't. Why is it easy for me to help others deal with their problems, yet....I'm unable to help myself??? I know that others feel the same way, but it's so easy to feel isolated.
Replies
I know that desire to run away. I put myself in semi-denial, where I shove the horrible realities of life into the back of my brain. But that\'s what practically everyone does. Of course you have more than you can handle. Make it a little easier on yourself by taking one day at a time, instead of trying to get everything resolved now. There\'s a road ahead of you which you have to travel one step at a time. I know that doesn\'t make things more pleasant, but maybe more bearable(?). It\'s easier to help other people with their problems because their problems don\'t belong to you. Yours are stuck onto you and you can\'t escape them.
We all feel alone. Too bad we can\'t put all of our problems in a pot and \"group\" deal with them. Maybe it will help with your feelings of isolation if you reminded yourself that millions of people around the world are facing the same problems and feeling the same way as you.
I send you a big bear hug. Hang in there.
I guess we need to know when to say \"to hell with helping others today - I need to help myself today.\"
As for the sleepiness-I know that especially if my house is messy that I will be more sleepy during the day-it\'s just a matter of motivation if I clean it or not. They are other reasons I would say but I\'m pretty sure u have heard of them.
I know that when I have the motivation but not enough sleep caffeine is my friend. ;)
sorry about your troubles, as a Lyme patient myself i get tired, depressed and sleep is always a problem. Some Lyme patients sleep too much some can\'t sleep at all, Lyme can cause up to a 100 different symptoms that affect evryone different from another.
It wasn\'t until 30 Docs later and seven years i went to a Lyme Literate medical Doctor (LLMD) she figured out what 30 docs couldn\'t because Lyme mimics so many other things, i was told i had Fibro, chronic fatigue syndrome amongst other things.
Lyme can cause depression, sleep problems, numbness, light sensitivity,vibrations, tingling, muscle cramps, twitching, cognitive problems, memory loss, lack of concentration and much much more.
http://lymies.ning.com/
Shamrock593 is right about the messy house. I\'m having the same sleep issues you\'re having. Yesterday afternoon, when I was at my sleepiest, I had a crazy little talk with myself. I told myself that a friend was coming over. (I gave the friend my name.) Then i started cleaning \"for my friend -- me.\" The cleaning helped me feel like I accomplished something, and my mood lifted a little bit. So, I did a little more. By the end of the day, my bedroom was clean and inviting, \"for my guest -- me.\" Last night, I slept a little better. Now I\'ve decided that a lot of my depression has to do with helplessness, and when I regain control of anything, I feel better. I\'ve also decided that I really like having nice things done for me, even if I have to do them myself. Maybe this would work for you, too. Please be kind to yourself today. You deserve it. Big hugs.
I definitely can relate to your sleep problems. Remember that too little sleep affects your emotions and your ability to cope. (When I haven\'t slept for a couple nights I get so down that I could jump off a bridge and I cry at the drop of a hat.)
Forgive me if you have already tried these, but Benedryl (the allergy medicine) can make you sleepy. It\'s actually used in a lot of OTC meds like Tylenol PM. I\'m not a doctor but mine says I can take 2 or 3 at a time. I also find that Melatonin helps me to get sleepy. I may not actually fall asleep with Melatonin, but at least I doze and get some rest.
Try to make your bedroom a source of comfort for your bedtime, too. Fresh sheets, comfy pillows, low lights, aromatherapy oils, good books/magazines by the bedside, warm cup of tea. If you make your bedroom tidy and comfy, it may not make you sleep, but again it will help you to feel as though you\'re being pampered. (I know it\'s hard to tidy your room when you feel like crap, but I go in, do two little things, go away, come back and do another thing. It takes a long time, but I finally get my room comfy.)
Do you have a TV in your room? Some people find they can fall asleep with the drone of an old movie as background noise. Something about the low flickering of black and white movies helps put me to sleep.
I\'m sorry I can\'t actually physically help you and I wish I could. If you need to talk, please feel free to send me a note any time. I will answer as soon as I am able.
Chey
chey at cheycobb dot com
Hi! I\'m coming into this discussion late as I am a newbie to this site, but I can totally relate to what you are saying both as a patient and as a nurse.
Are you on an antidepressant? Seeing your Doc is very important as you cannot deal with this on your own or be a support to anyone else without feeling well yourself. An antidepressant coupled with an antianxiety aid such as Clonazepam, will allow you to sleep....I guarantee it and you will not have side effects in the morning...hang over effect... like you may have with a sleeping med.
To combat the \"sleepiness\" during the day, I am also on Wellbutrin, an antidepressant as well, but it is one that has to be taken in the am as the side effects are wakefulness. The combination of these 2 antidepressants is amazing! I feel fantastic! And as sleep is so important and affects so many things, you NEED to sleep....thus the antianxiety med, Clonazepam.
Sometimes seritonin is not properly released by the brain and this is usually triggered by an \"event\" of great shock or concern. Taking pills to remedy the situation is no different than taking a thyroid med or heart pill or BC pill...you need it. I hope that this is helpful in your situation. If you are already being medicated, you are on the wrong one if you have been on the med for over 3 wks and feeling no results. It is not unusual to have to try 2 or 3 before they work. And remember the Wellbutrin in the morning! It really helps.
Wishing you all the best. I\'ve had success and you can too....there is no need to live this way.
Helping Hand 2
life is a struggle for us, it may be helping others helps you.. it does. your a caring person with a good heart. the holidays is rough.. breath and do something nice for yourself.. treat yourself..
I have been exactly where you are. I have been hopeless, suicidal, sad, lonely... about 5 years ago my dad comitted suicide. He was a great unny and loving soul. It was very hard. I continue, to this day to have issues with sleep, periods of sadness, overwhelmed by the pressures of the world.
My suggestion, read the book, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle or The Secret or The law of Attraction by Rhonda Byrne and he other author is Esther Hicks, also I recommend the book You Can Heal your Life. These are all uplifting books and shows you incredible secrets of the world and how to attract love peace harmony in your life no matter if you are going through a divorce, bankrupt, have cancer etc. They will heal you. Second- sleep effects our hormones in the brain. It affect the release of serotonin, a vtal hormone in keeping you full of energy and promoting well being and happiness. If you lose sleep you seritonin levels get disrupted, thus causing depression. Do not burn yourself out. Take a hot bath with dead sae mineral to relax the muscles and draw out toxins. I also suggest trying 5 HTP. It is a naturally occuring neurotransmitter. Alot of people do not want to take those strong anti depressants that have now shown they cause damage to the brain. 5 HTP is great alternitive. It helps your body balance out hormaones in the brain. I also suggest rhodiola.Rhodiola rosea is a popular plant in traditional medical systems in Eastern Europe and Asia with a reputation for stimulating the nervous system, decreasing depression, enhancing work performance, eliminating fatigue, and preventing high altitude sickness. Rhodiola rosea has been categorized as an adaptogen by Russian researchers due to its observed ability to increase resistance to a variety of chemical, biological, and physical stressors. Its claimed benefits include antidepressant, anticancer, cardioprotective, and central nervous system enhancement. Research also indicates great utility in asthenic conditions (decline in work performance, sleep difficulties, poor appetite, irritability, hypertension, headaches, and fatigue) developing subsequent to intense physical or intellectual strain.
Try taking 3 mg of melatonin every night too.
If those do not work...and remember give them 30-60 days to work then try xanax to relax you and put you to sleep at night. I was on ambien and lunesta but they did nothing for my sleep and made me feel groggy. So the doctor put me on xanax and it slowed my thoughts at night, calmed me and made me really relaxed and sleepy. Hope that help! Kris
Thank you all for your wonderful, informative, and supportive comments. Each one has uplifted my spirits, and made me feel as though I matter. Life has not been easy for quite some time, but I\'m struggling to hold on and find some inner peace. *Hugs* to everyone!!!
Sabrina
Hi Sabrina,
I know that this is the most difficult time of year, especially for those of us who suffer from depression, but you have lots of people who care just on this site alone and more that you probably don\'t even know about. I know it\'s tough to hang on, but tie a know on the end of that rope and hold on tight and take one hour at a time if you can\'t handle a day at a time. I find that if I can write maybe two things I am grateful for each day and just keep adding to the list and read it over it helps some. Take care of you right now! and here is a big bear hug. Deb
Thanks Debbie....I will tie a knot at the end of the rope, and hold on tightly, I promise.
Hi Sabrina Im really sorry you are having trouble sleeping you really need to take care of yourself, you are such a kind and caring person and you are always there for me if I need to talk, you have helped me alot, so Im here for you if you need to talk anytime. I think we all feel like running away sometimes but you are a strong person and not getting any proper sleep isnt helping and nighttimes are always horrible. Take care Sabrina hope to hear from you soon love and hugs from Cynthia xxxx
Sounds almost like Jet lag... haha... This is depression due to self isolation. I know the feeling. It\'s hard to get out there, but you need to. About the best thing I can think of is getting out to a gym or something. There are people, and it\'s productive as well. It will help exhaust you. And, it will raise your endorphin levels. And, all that \"should\" help.
Hope you start feeling better.
- bc
Thanks so much Cynthia and BrokenChild....for the caring and thoughtful feedback. Very sensible advice. *Hugs*
Sabrina