Feeling Helpless

Today I decided to leave a message with the site manager asking a couple of questions about the new apartment I will be moving to next month - like the exact date it will be ready, since they are fixing the floor, and a question about access to the basement laundry room where I will have to move my washer & dryer.  I had not expected to talk with a live person, as she has made this new policy about not taking any phone calls at this time of day, so I thought to just leave a message, but she answered.  Well she just lit into me about how my being "wishy-washy" about wanting to take the one bedroom apartment had cost the company a months rent they could have had - I really did not see how, siince the apartment isn't ready for occupancy yet because of the floor, etc.  She seemed insulted about the list I had sent her about things that needed doing, like a new paint job, some minor repairs in the bathroom etc.  Her attitude was how dare I! - of COURSE they would automatically do these things (She seemed to forget that I have lived in this complex close to 31 years and I KNOW that do as little as they can get away with).  When I tried to confirm the amount of the new rent, she acted like that was already decided, even though I still have nothing in writing....well, you get the picture.  SHE was under so much stress, SHE had been sick this week, etc.  EVERYTHING seemed to be MY fault!  I don't do well when I am suddenly attacked like that, and I had a hard time defending myself with the simple statement that when I first looked at the apartment and had a negative reaction, and had left her a telephone message asking for an APPOINTMENT to sit down and discuss things, she NEVER answered my message!  She managed to hear my next message I had left saying that I did not think I wanted the apartment after all, and had apparently started looking for another tenant.  Again, I expected her to CALL me and talk to me - after all I have lived here 31 years, and she knows I am having all these problems with unemployment, being widowed, etc.  I would have expected her to pick up the phone and just call me and confirm that I really did not want the apartment, or  suggest that maybe we could get together to discuss it if I still had questions!  And of course, I did have lots of questions.  I never even got a call back when I asked about the key to the laundry room!   I am SO ANGRY!  This is yet another case of feeling so HELPLESS!  I wanted to tell her off, to remind her that it is not my fault that she happens to be overworked right now, etc. - but to say anything like that would be putting myself at risk of being evicted, so of course I tried my best to be passive and nice about everything!  UGH!  I am so tired of being treated like I am old, poor, stupid, helpless, whatever!  Thank God for my daughter who is 34 and understands how things are here - she lives in this complex too, so she was a good morale booster, but still, why should I have to be treated this way?  This just all emphasized again, how alone I feel with my husband gone.  I feel overwhelmed, lonely, and abandoned, and I feel like it's all Stan's fault for having that first stroke, and then dying on me 5 years later.  I know this is is stupid and mentally I get that Stan had no control over his situation, but emotionally I feel so abandoned.  I just don't want to do this anymore!