Feeling grateful for what I have

Feeling well and grateful. During service, behind the iconostasis, I was feeling confronted by my lack of power to conduct my life as I wished. The pressure of the religiosity around me was maddening. On the one hand it felt impossible but then I started to think about what to be grateful for. There is an older man here who spouts off a lot to me about this place but he doesn’t realize how lucky he is to have the safety and care from the sisters. Likewise I saw that spouting off in me.  So I thought to think about nurturing something some activity where I can feel free and myself. It made me think that we each may feel a little imprisoned in our life of shoulds and where we live. The thought is helping me relax a little and take things in stride. I’m realizing too I don’t need to be the focal point of people, but that is a responsibility we have when people see us. I don’t know. I guess I'm not taking personally the stuff that goes on around me if it somehow doesn't go nicely. :-)