Feeling fat

So I saw a picture of me that was taken the other day.... Holy cow I am fat! I gained so much last fall when my thyroid meds needed to be adjusted, like 50+ pounds in a very short time... and dang! I hate hate hate how I look! I am so glad surgery is just around the corner cause that is the ONLY thing that is keeping this woman from going off the deep end! I'd just died to have seen those pictures if I'd not known I had surgery just a few weeks from now.... And even knowing it, its still so hard! I just want this really fat me to be a thing of the past :)