Feeling crummy
I am back home after a lovely time on the West Coast. However, I feel worse than ever. I am sure part of it is that it is the first of the month and Lisa died on December 1, 2009. I also have a cold. I started to get sneezy on the trip home. Today I am coughing and have a runny nose. Enough details about my cold.
I think I have a backlash when I get back from a vacation. I felt fairly good when I was away, now I am sad and weepy. I want so much to call Lisa - we would always call one another when we were feeling miserable. I wrote to her but it just is not good enough. Friends tell me to call them but again, it just isn't the same.
So I cry and try to make sense of all this. The upside is that we are going to Ottawa on Monday to see my beautiful granddaughter. I hope I start feeling better!
I think I have a backlash when I get back from a vacation. I felt fairly good when I was away, now I am sad and weepy. I want so much to call Lisa - we would always call one another when we were feeling miserable. I wrote to her but it just is not good enough. Friends tell me to call them but again, it just isn't the same.
So I cry and try to make sense of all this. The upside is that we are going to Ottawa on Monday to see my beautiful granddaughter. I hope I start feeling better!
Replies
Yes, I think when you come back after time away those old memories surface because home is where they are. When we are away, for a moment we are somewhere else not associated with that past - and then we return and have to confront and adjust all over again.......or something like that, anyway. Just rambling - hope you get to feeling better, too ~ Joanna
I\'m sorry you are feeling crummy and I believe when we\'re ill the grief compounds itself. Take care of you and enjoy your granddaughter time. They are truly our healers. Love and hugs, Joanie
Sorry your feeling bad and missing Lisa. Seems to me I am more sad on the day my son passed away the 30th of Dec, 09...What I feel strange the month of Feb there is no 30th and not once did I have that feeling so more sadness as I do when I know the date 30th is coming up. I miss my Ken everyday, but seems the date is worse...Hope you feel better soon
Hi Marlene, I feel the same way when I return home after being away. For me, its because Eddie was not normally on vacation with me and alos because once home its back to the awful truth, the reality, the \"new normal\". For what its worth I think its a pretty normal response. On top of it you are not feeling well and as you said you and Lisa would call each other when you weren\'t well. Eddie & I did that too. We would commiserate and pray for each other when we were sick. It hurts I know, not to be able to pick of the phone and hear her dear voice.
Enjoy your time with Cevyn. You will ride this wave of pain out and we are right here with you. Love to you and Lisa, Linda
Sometime the reality hits hardest at home...away we are distracted and excited...and we return and the loss is still here. I hope that this low will be followed by an \"up\"...love to you...Karen