Feeling Challenged
Today is Christmas morning. It’s just my husband and I, so it’s pretty low key. We both have the day off and it’s a really nice day, so we will go outside and do something.
I’m starting my third week not drinking and it has been more challenging for me this last week. I have had to fight the urge to drink, whereas the first 10 days I did not have the urge to drink. I just reread my plan for recovery, and I realize I have not been doing any of the things I need to do lately as part of my recovery, like exercise or writing or reading. I have been much busier than usual, mainly at work. It will be back to normal after next week.
Rereading Gary Zukav’s book, Seat of the Soul from the chapter on Addiction: “The greater the desire of your soul to heal your addiction, the greater will be the cost of keeping it.” “When you feel in yourself the addictive attraction of alcohol remember these words: You stand between the two worlds of your lesser self and your full self. Your lesser self is tempting and powerful because it is not as responsible and not as loving and not as disciplined, so it calls you. This other part of you is whole and more responsible and more caring and more empowered, but it demands of you the way of the enlightened spirit: conscious life. Conscious life. The other choice is unconscious permission to act without consciousness. It is tempting. What choose you?"
So, I am realizing that in my fight to heal my addiction to alcoholism, it is not as easy and simple as just never drinking again. It requires work, and it is good work. It is a process. I am in process toward wholeness, even when I am feeling stagnant. The best thing to do when I am feeling stagnant is to Get Moving! Physically- walk, jog, hike, bike, whatever. Emotionally, spiritually, mentally- journal write, read, talk to someone. It’s all connected.
Take a deep breath, go outside and feel the sunshine. See the beauty. Feel the beauty. You are part of the beauty!
I’m starting my third week not drinking and it has been more challenging for me this last week. I have had to fight the urge to drink, whereas the first 10 days I did not have the urge to drink. I just reread my plan for recovery, and I realize I have not been doing any of the things I need to do lately as part of my recovery, like exercise or writing or reading. I have been much busier than usual, mainly at work. It will be back to normal after next week.
Rereading Gary Zukav’s book, Seat of the Soul from the chapter on Addiction: “The greater the desire of your soul to heal your addiction, the greater will be the cost of keeping it.” “When you feel in yourself the addictive attraction of alcohol remember these words: You stand between the two worlds of your lesser self and your full self. Your lesser self is tempting and powerful because it is not as responsible and not as loving and not as disciplined, so it calls you. This other part of you is whole and more responsible and more caring and more empowered, but it demands of you the way of the enlightened spirit: conscious life. Conscious life. The other choice is unconscious permission to act without consciousness. It is tempting. What choose you?"
So, I am realizing that in my fight to heal my addiction to alcoholism, it is not as easy and simple as just never drinking again. It requires work, and it is good work. It is a process. I am in process toward wholeness, even when I am feeling stagnant. The best thing to do when I am feeling stagnant is to Get Moving! Physically- walk, jog, hike, bike, whatever. Emotionally, spiritually, mentally- journal write, read, talk to someone. It’s all connected.
Take a deep breath, go outside and feel the sunshine. See the beauty. Feel the beauty. You are part of the beauty!
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