Feeling Blue

Just feelin sorry for myself again ,not sleeping well and our summer is ending . I soooo miss my grandsons who are living overseas. Poor little one starting school in rigid old UK . Before this move they were beaCh bums in the Caribbean. My worst nightmare having my kids move far away .
New grandaughter is due in about 8 weeks . Kinda happy but dont know how involved Ill get to be . Son loves me but he is married to a bit of a snootty family (dont know why they are they are middle class just like us ) A snootty Mom and 2 snooty sisters. All in all I really feel that we (his family) are just not good enough. Embarrassing or something .I dont expect me daughter and I will be invited to showers ,havent heard a word ,I really cant put one on not the way Ive been feelingĀ .
I really am starting to dislike adult children .I lost my Mom when I was 30 the age my oldest son is now ,My hubby lost his Mom at 34 and our Dads went very soon after. I would have loved more time with them . We certainly would never have treated them like kids seem to do today ,
Oh well life goes on and IllĀ  perk up again

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Oh I\'m so sorry! It\'s so hard to go through things like that. I\'m one of 6 kids, but my older sister has really separated herself from the family. Her husband\'s family is really snooty as well and my sister has turned into the type of person that thinks you\'re not good enough to be around unless your dressed and acting exactly how she wants you to. If your house doesn\'t belong on Martha Stewart Living without a thing ever out of place she\'s not going to claim you as a relation.

That turn with my sister has been so hard on my mom. My mom lost her mother to cancer when she was 15 and her father died in his early 50\'s so for my mom family is paramount. Now that my sister has had a kid it\'s really hard for my mom not to be able to just be there to see her grandbaby and experience her growing up.

I don\'t know why it is some kids start acting like that, but it\'s really hurtful to everyone. I couldn\'t imagine going more than 2 days without at least talking to my mom if not seeing her on the phone. I\'m not sure what exact relationship you have with your son, but have you tried being totally honest with him?

Maybe not saying my daughter in law is a bit... but instead telling him that you feel like there is more and more of a divide and that you would really like to be a part of his life and your grandchildren\'s lives if he will let you? See how he responds and if it\'s not positive maybe you could encourage him to explain to you what is wrong and why he prefers the separation. I don\'t know it\'s just a thought. Sometimes kids get so involved with doing their own thing they don\'t realize they\'ve left people behind and hurt.
Hugs,
Nicole
lmrmom
lmrmom

Yes Ive told my son how I feel ,He didnt have much to say when I said I feel they dont think Im good enough .He and I are really quite close and hes always ready to give me a hug and he comes alone to visit me which is good in away and bad cause why doesnt his wife come but then maybe I dont want her here?? And of course I dont know how involved she will let me be with the baby ? Ill certainly be talking to him about that.
I have never got in the way with my other daughter in law ,no unwanted advice ,she had twins and I helped her alot . Ill see how it goes I may be thinking ahead of myself . And it is hard getting used to the limitations this disease puts on me with regards to helping out .The kids are used to me being strong and able .
brunob
brunob

I\'m sorry you are feeling left out of your son\'s life. I don\'t have a great relationship with my mother and I really wish I did. (she is an alcoholic) As I get older family means so much more and especially being ill it can be isolating. I hope you get to see your new grandbaby.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Yeah I would take things one step at a time like we have to with this disease. I know it\'s really hard to have that kind of patience, I\'ll keep you in my prayers and hope that things go the best way possible for you!