Feeling alone...
My lonliness is killing me today! I strive each day to make the best of all my blessings and for all of them I am grateful. Yet, no matter how much I try to move forward, my heart longs for my husband. I miss the fantasy life in which I thought we had or at least the one I thought we were gonna have. I keep telling myself this and yet I can't seem to let go. He is still so lost. I'm so angry at him 'cause I know he misses me too. But he is not willing to make any real changes yet and we are both left to suffer. I know I have a choice and I choose to keep moving forward but my heart won't catch up. What a son of a bitch!!!! I want to SHAKE HIM and JUST SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!But instead, I sit and wait. I'm feeling sorry for myself again and need to snap out of it! I just can't help it. I'm a good girl, not perfect, but good. I don't know why I am left here with my broken heart. How much longer do I live in limbo, if my physical self has removed myself from the situation and my heart can't let go?! The lonliness I feel is that, there is no answer and no one can help and I put on my best game face and press on. When will this feeling end?
Replies
I am so feeling you right now my dear friend. Damn I can relate to this.... venting is the best right now to do and vent vent, vent!! Stubborn is the word it sounds in all this and honey, you cant hide the way you feel with masks and fake moods, sometimes it drains us more. I am so sorry for how you feel. My heart goes to you because the pain is so real. You cant sit and wait either my dear. Reality is if he wants to suffer well okay, then he will suffer, but you should not have to. No, and the lonely of longing for your husband is of course natural. I cant tell you the feeling will subside at all hun. It took over three years and even today the wierdness of the feelings will resume once in a blue moon, it is crazy, but I know it is just a crazy feeling. We are human and we have needs that is so deep that we get lost in ourselves. I pray for you and will continue to .... Big hugz!!!
Simonne
I so hope that you feel better soon and are able to resolve these issues. Love is a crazy thing. It tears us to pieces. Love, Hugs and Prayers ALWAYS,
Donna