Feeling a little lonely

I haven't dated in over a year? I'm not sure.  I went on one date with a guy and never again.  I'm starting to think that I will have to accept no dating and no relationships for me.  I refuse the change for the sake of attracting some imaginary man.  I love and like me.  I am awesome.  And when I say to people I am awesome they laugh.  Perhaps they don't think I am awesome.  I do.  I fear that this is it.  As I raise my standards and actually wait for what I truly want....passion, truth, some amount of commitment, compassion, love, lust, sweetness, care....and more...that as I decide to wait rather than try to make it happen....but forreal when i was trying to make it happen because as i mentioned passion is a requirement of and interest....then i'm not really getting what i want...a facsimile? A bit of what i want?
 
so i'm waiting...not at home....i'm waiting in the restaurant out alone or with friends...im waiting at the movies or at a concert...im waiting on the deck drinking a glass of wine...im waiting....sitting at the bookstore reading my book....im waiting in my care jamming to music....im waiting fucking living my life.
i guess that's good, but i wish these dudes would share what it is they are truly looking for cause i don't have a clue.
but i guess it would probably temp me to be that thing and then it'll change again
so i'm living my life....oh i'm waiting at work too and sometimes church.  i'm free.  i like being that way.  I am unwilling to be bound again.  What ever i choose or for how long I want the freedom to be in it for as long as i wish and to be free from it if i choose.
so if that means im free alone i guess that is how i will be.
oh and im waiting on a plane or in a new city as well.
non negotiable.....i will travel as much as i can with the money that i have.
im good with me.....i just don't know why i don't date and why i am still completely single. don't know