feeling a lil weepy tday
it might be that i have not been sleeping restfully or hormones from pms. idk but feeling a lil like i could cry. i really want a hug. for some reason when i feel the most needy is the time i withdraw. i guess i don't like to be percieved as needy? like evry month i get these thoughts. it used to be why don't i have a partner? now i have one and it's why doesnt he say he loves me? like i believe he does, but what if i'm wrong? logic says then the relationship can still be beneficial even without romantic love.
still deep down i'd just like to be someones "one"
like not actually one as i am poly so i don't care about monogamy but like really really important to them
and to be showered with like words of affirmations and specialness.
i rarely attract people like me though
sometimes i think i attract people who need people like me?
i'm a giver
so do i attract takers?
i wouldnt characterize it that way, but it does seem i give more....
sometimes too much probably
once someone is special to me i think of them a lot
after the nre wears off i think itll get better...lesson
im still in it
makes me feel weak
its a nice feeling its just scary when u think maybe ur in it by urself