Feel little better today Fri Oct 10,2014, 8.45 p.m.

Well, im using purple today because it was my mom's favorite color, she was so pretty. Today would have been her Birthday if she hadnt been murdered on the road by an asshole drunk with a death wish. She shairs a birthday with John Lennon, his birthday was also today. I never knew they shared a birthday. (BOTH WERE MURDERED) in my opinion. I was a passenger in a very bad drunk driving accident, i was the passenger, went threw windsheild, severe head injury, and broken pelvic bone, and so many more injories. My youngest son never ever got to meat her. I miss her so. She was killed when i was about 22 maybe if that, She loved my oldest son. She had such a hard life, i was a terrrible teen, constantly running away, even hitched to Callifornia at age 13, ya that's what i said, different times. Bad things happened, but it wasnt like today, we were so nieve back then. Then i got pregnant at age 14 in 1975-76. Kicked out of school, the whole nine yard's. If she were here today, i probly wouldnt no i know i would have been a better mother. i had realy no guidness, then by the time the second bithc stepmother she made him kick his old family out and that was it for me, on my own sence then. My oldest is a great guy, but he is so overweight, i get so worried and my youngest has VERY BAD TEETH, and is 30 now and has nothing and lives w/me. I wish i would have  listened to people when they gave me advice, cause my youngest, wow we have so many prob's he has very low self asteem, and many other prob's. i was so arigant when they were growing up. i never wanted them to fear me like i did mine, so i went the totle opposite. Now i have 2 messed up adult man child's. Not so much the oldest, but he is so Henpecked, his wife Never comes around his family, like we dont exsite. Havnt seen her for yrs, whick is fine by me. She comes from money and is an only child. Had a very unproductive day AGAIN today. am listening to some Beattles in honer of my mama, and John Lennon.Son going to get me some sprite, feel sick today, made lot's of diet chillie, but it made me so sick last time, think because that's all i ate, used to bland food. I was sick all day yesterday. ok think i better get off for now more later if i can. Love and miss ya mama. I know we would have been good freinds and my son's would at leaste have a grandma sence neither of there fathers steped up EVER. I think babies should come w/ a manual or something. This has been one persons opinion about the manual. OK going to take my med so i can listen to my music and see my shiny light show. love the light show. Just prop me up and show me something shinny, and im good for at leaste an hour. Sorry, dont feel like spell checking. Im going rouge over here. Ha