feel like throwing a beach party for us
I'd definitely love to throw a party as if I had a beachhouse
we could use...and just celebrate with a barbecue and beverages
and fun and sun. How great it would be to see you guys there
celebrating a well deserved time to relax and kick up our heals!
Maybe volleyball or body surfing or boogie boarding...!
Sounds like heaven!
Replies
this might be fun to post in open forum where everybody can participate.
i'm over here digging the barbacoa pit. gonna do it the old world style of sticking the whole pig in the ground with hot coals and letting it roast for a few days. sand is especially great for barbacoa pits.
we could have hamburgers and hotdogs too! Fries and chili,
lobsters, baked clams or softshell crabs!
instead of volley ball we might want badminton? Or maybe both?
Pulling ideas from childhood - we could also play tether ball!
I don't know why as an adult I have tended to isolate myself more and more.
It's like I feel so ungrounded that I have to "do life" perfectly before i step
out and celebrate life with others. I had a very big social life at one time
but I slowly felt like I was growing thinner and thinner in my spirit
and had no foundation. Now I feel like I am learning to question that POV.
In addition to learning how to process my feelings, deal with life and share interdependantly here
I think I should gift myself some socializing. I wouldn't make a friend stay home alone
all the time - it wouldn't be fair to them - it's not fair to myself or healthy.
Zoooot! eureka! I do love aspects of being alone - like Jan said - isolating is how she
deals with vulnerability - but maybe I can find balance. Give myself alone time
and also schedule in some together stuff.
I need to drop something off at the GoodWill and then there's church at St. Max's
at 5pm.
I have a hard time of imagining or conceiving of how to spend my time.
I've heard of people thinking or talking of themselves in the 3rd person
as a way to cope. It seems kind of crazy but after the above reply i started to
do that as a way to feel a sense of decent and just behavior with myself.
It's kind of crazy I'll try not to go down that road.
I also have memories of just a very moody youth.
I so would get involved with the flow of the day
and unprepared to deal with adversity that I slowly started
to question more and more aspects of everyday life.
I guess it was my attempt to cope with pain
and also bolster my sense of wisdom aka peace of mind.
I have tried to grow - I know I have aspects of myself
that are 'wanting' but I try not to give power to them.
I'm going out for a walk. Thanks guys for being there with me.
Thinking of myself in third person is helping me
evaluate how I am doing. living by myself with a serious
mental health condition. I'm doing pretty good I think - and I know it's hard
thing and
I think I should go ahead and treat myself well as I might
treat one of my comrades here, family or friends.
I've overspent on my budget these past couple of days
but the choices have been good choices in a way.
I want to get back to financial equilibrium again
so this next week will be lean until Monday Oct. 3.
one reason i like cooking at these events is that it gives me the perfect excuse to watch the sport courts from a safe social distance, but as a detached spectator, more is better for available game options.
you have done more than **try** to grow, markus questionarius. your progress has been tremendous. give yourself the same credit you would encourage one of us to give ourselves. giving praise to others is terrifical practice for owning my own progress.
making friends gets harder as we age. my 6 and 3 year olds still make friends at every sandbox. the nine year 0ld is already more complicated with items on his can't-tolerate list. at 68, it is easier to be friendly than to make friends. more and more i think being friendly is enough. it is certainly simpler.
third person does make it easier to detach from my personal self. the debate rages on how healthy it is to detach from oneself. in my own case, it feeds my dissociative tendencies, but i still feel like my mental illness is easier to manage with lots of extra detachment, so i personify my psychotic psycho ticks. who let that advice giving beast out of her cage again? ? ? where is my whip and chair? ? ?
((())hug)))) you make my day Arfie
Thanks
I have so much to be grateful for.
A long time ago I felt the upset over the direction my life had taken when living in the board and care. Then I knew I had to banish the thought in order to keep on living life in terms of living for the day and the fact that I was still alive.
I set about learning as much as I could in terms of being self responsible.
Recently I have found myself getting a sense of myself as this quirky 54 year old and a kind of sense of what a weird character I am. But I also knew I had to banish the thought and continue to be the best person I could be.
And so today with all these notes written down here I’ve felt grounded but also a tremendous sadness that my life had come to this. Alone etc.. So heavy a boulder to keep pushing up the hill only for it to always roll down again.
That 3rd person idea may not be the healthiest thing because it seems to illicit self judgment but it does give mental insight into how I am treating myself along the lines of how I would treat anyone let alone someone I care about. So it’s a struggle but I’ll keep it in a box and go to mass. Positive thoughts to you guys. Thanks and Have a good night. Xo
I had a socially outgoing evening the other night and I allowed myself to live in the moment and had a genuinely good time. Then, of course, I was back alone with my thoughts and criticism and analytics of my every move and every behavior. And it made me smash the fun to pieces and make me feel insecure about myself.
And that was no fun.
It does all change as life goes on. Our experiences have made us more layered and multifaceted and therefore more complex…… and how do we reconcile all those layers of identity with just being ‘free’ and social with no harboring of self-criticism ? I am striving to be a conversationalist in my smaller outings with close friends. I’m too chicken for dating and couldn’t find ease in trying to spin that into my branching out….but I think it’s healthy to try. And conversation is not a one-sided thing… it’s the exchange of ideas and listening and discussing and even healthy debate that challenges and stimulates outside-of-ourself thinking!
I have been a writer for a long time…. and putting that into spoken conversation is also freeing.
Yes, it would be nice to get the whole group together for a barbecue or outing! When we are feeling isolated it’s good to just get out among fellow humans. I’m lucky because I’m in a city and there are always humans around. But even in small towns there’s opportunity.
Oh, where’s the easy button for Life?!?!
I hope you enjoy the church service. Is there a friend you could call up afterward?
Thanks Nikki. I will get in touch with a friend. Thanks for the suggestion. Xx
when i look to church communities to break my isolation, i find that arriving early and leaving late opens the door to more social opportunities than sitting through mass.
in my own case the 3rd person plural was a bad idea because i have dissociated to full catatonia and all the psycho colors between the extremes. sometimes i call it, "feeding the bad wolf." one of my shrinks called it, "using the royal we." but our cases are radically different and ya gotta listen to your own instincts. they can and will guide you in your strictly personal case.
i'm far too twisted a sister to pretend normal is not even in my repertoire. since i started letting that be okay, i have found great benefits in sharing my weirding ways with anybody who care to share. those who matter don't mind. those who mind don't matter.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Lk2KHajp4Y
Big hug Arfie, your reply as always is very important to me. Your insights are great! I look forward to hearing from you each time
Hey
Coming late to the party with some Puerto Rican rice and beans, platanos & some spicy shrimp & scallops.
I wish I could write some more but I’m pushin through dissociation
Big hugs <3 <3 <3
((HUG))) peace and grounding.