feel like giving up
I really feel like giving up the struggle...it doesn't seem like anything is improving much. I find myself withdrawing from church, discouraging people from visiting, withdrawing from Facebook, although I am also sick of the over the top political posts. First Amendment sucks when you are dealing with the depression brain that personalizes and catastrophizes everything. I have found myself going back to bed after Katrina goes to school, although I do eventually get up to do job search activities. It is difficult to know how I can sell myself to an employer when I don't even like myself. I am taking medication, but I don't believe that it is working. I called my therapist to see if I can get back in. I will not do anything drastic--I have three kids and a grandson whom I would never hurt in such a manner--but I just don't seem to have it in to me to keep trying.
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Feeling a little better today--or at least a little more able to put things into some kind of perspective. What I need to work on is not letting others define me by my circumstances or my beliefs. Facebook is not reality--yes, most of the people on it are conservative, some hard core, but election results and polls on issues tell me I am actually more in line with the majority. So I am out and about and looking for work
Feeling stronger, but still shaky. Trying to reach out more and learn to confront what I don\'t like without being disagreeable. Trying to look at the humorous side of things.
The weekend is over, and I got a few things finished. Still have a bit of headache, not sure if it is stress or just that time of the month. Trying to not let things get to me