Feel horrible right now

I am not feeling so well right now. I attack myself but it's like my body is against me. I fell trapped and scared a lot of times and just want a way out. But, there is no way out. There never is a way out for me. People keep telling me that I have to just handle all this myself and I'll just eventually snap out of this in a second. People don't know how hard this is and that I've been dealing with this for years now. Just about my whole life and it gets harder and harder every year for me. Nothing is really helping to ease this and when I get sad for too long my chest hurts a lot. My heart starts hurting and then I sort of start to panic a little and just sit in pain a lot of times. I'm just sad and mad at myself almost all the time now. I really don't know what to do when I get mad or sad, so I just sit there and wait for everything to be over with. Sometimes sleeping or crying actually helps but other times. IDK what to do at the moment and I have class tomorrow but I don't feel like doing anything with myself. I guess I'll just go to sleep or something.