Fed up
I'm so sick of being sick. I felt ok today to start off with. I called the bankrupcty lawyer to ask him a few questions, made a few phone calls I was putting off,showered,etc. Then we decided to head to the grocery store for a few things. Apparently that was a mistake. I was ok at first pushing the cart and then about halfway through my ears started ringing, and I started sweating and felt really nauseous. I'm guessing it was a POTS flare up. I thought maybe anxiety but it didn't feel like that. I still feel car sick right now.
I never threw up. I came home and ate some saltines and drank my Gatorade. I started crying in the car on the way home. Then I called my mom and cried to her. I hate feeling car sick and dizzy. To me it's the worst feeling ever. I told John I'd rather live with one leg than feel dizzy all the time like I'm going to pass out. That sounds awful I know but at least with that type of handicap I'd know everyday what I'm dealing with. I wouldn't feel like I just got off an amusement park ride for no reason randomly. I checked my BP and heart rate. Both seemed ok. John and my mom said to just remember its just an awful sensation but it will pass. I wish I coukd think that way. Every time I have a flare up I think I'm going to end up back in the hospital.
I try so hard to think positively but at times I so just want to give up. I'm trying to accept this is my life now but it's so depressing. I really thought I was getting better. I see my POTS therapist tomorrow and I really hope I can make it. I'm scared to take my trazodone because it might make me feel worse. I can't sleep at all without it so I guess I have no choice. I'm so over this. It would be easy to accept losing everything if I felt ok but I guess the reason I've lost so much is because of being sick. I just want to feel better.
I never threw up. I came home and ate some saltines and drank my Gatorade. I started crying in the car on the way home. Then I called my mom and cried to her. I hate feeling car sick and dizzy. To me it's the worst feeling ever. I told John I'd rather live with one leg than feel dizzy all the time like I'm going to pass out. That sounds awful I know but at least with that type of handicap I'd know everyday what I'm dealing with. I wouldn't feel like I just got off an amusement park ride for no reason randomly. I checked my BP and heart rate. Both seemed ok. John and my mom said to just remember its just an awful sensation but it will pass. I wish I coukd think that way. Every time I have a flare up I think I'm going to end up back in the hospital.
I try so hard to think positively but at times I so just want to give up. I'm trying to accept this is my life now but it's so depressing. I really thought I was getting better. I see my POTS therapist tomorrow and I really hope I can make it. I'm scared to take my trazodone because it might make me feel worse. I can't sleep at all without it so I guess I have no choice. I'm so over this. It would be easy to accept losing everything if I felt ok but I guess the reason I've lost so much is because of being sick. I just want to feel better.
Replies
I hate to sound stupid, but what is POTS? Does stress seem to bring it on you think?
Have you ever tried making a cup of hot ginger? Use one teaspoon to a cup. Add honey. Ginger helps motion sickness , upset stomach and many other things. Try some and see if it helps you any.
It really sucks to feel like crap..and having to take all kinds of pills too.
Huggs for you! I hope you get to feeling better.
Lynne
Can they give you something for the motion sickness? I\'ve been having to take Bonine otc or dramimine. They are basically the same thing but I\'ve been getting motion sickness with being on some elevators in hospitals and hotels the past three months with my dad being in and out of the hospital. I really don\'t know what I would\'ve done without them. Hope things get to feeling better soon Reds!! HUGS!!