Fed up

I have 2 chronic illness's and found out about them when I was 8 years old. I'm now 18 almost 19 and it's been 10 years and I still don't have a set in stone diagnosis. I have trackers for a bunch of things and I am HLA-B27 positive. Lately I've been in so much pain I don't know what to do. I also just feel like giving up.

I use to smoke and drink because I figured I'm going to die early so why not have some fun. But, recently I quit and realized I was being stupid. I am going to die young but I don't want to die from lung cancer or liver failure. I would rather die from something else and hopefully not be in pain from what ever I die from. My major problem right now is my boyfriend smokes. I've told him I can't be around him when he does and he doesn't understand. He said he would stop but that didn't happen. Whenever I go to his house he invites his friends over and they smoke so I leave the room. When he gets a little pain he starts complaining like a baby and says "I now understand how you feel". When someone has Arthritis do not ever say something like that. I can't sleep because when I lay down I get a shooting pain in my back. I went for a walk today because it was beautiful and I couldn't do anything after because my hips, knees, and heels were in so much pain. 

I'm suppose to have fun at my age and I don't. I can't sleep, walk, or even draw. I'm in college and all I worry about is what job field has the best insurance. People my age usually only worry about what guy likes them or what they are going to wear to the next party. I worry about my whole life and what's going to happen in the future. I just wish I could go back to being happy and positive 24/7 but right now I have no motivation and just want to curl up in a ball all day.

I'm lost. I'm at the end of my path. I honestly don't know what to think or feel anymore.