Feb 17- my bday and lent

Today is ash Wednesday so I managed to not focus on my birthday and on that, also Viola the winter storm who has shook Texas is in town. None the less the 3 year streak of numb disaster continues. I don't feel as depressed as I have before due to just being use to all this is but I got agitated as the day went on. Perhaps it's because I want to see some mean things to my spouse or perhaps it's his coldness that has pushed me to the limit today...either way, I'm struggling with frustration and anger. On top of all the other crap going on I still have my marriage breaking my heart. How much longer is it going to be this way? I'm sick of my friends and thier happy life and I feel bad for feeling that way.