Fathers Day 2015
It is father's day and the anniversary of my father's death. He died in 1980 at just over 50 years old...a death which was basically caused by his alcoholism. His struggles (or at least, my mother's struggles with it) are one reason why I am so freaked out by what's happening in my marriage.
My granddaughter spent the night...she's 3 and has been the apple of my husband's eye but the last while he seems to have distanced himself from her, too. When my daughter and her husband came by this morning, to visit, bring a gift and get her, he was happy to see them for a while, but then got busy pulling weeds (we were sitting outside having coffee) and I soon realized he had gone up to the garage to take a few slugs of vodka.
After they left I insisted he sit and talk to me and said frankly that I had read an article on alcoholics being unable to make emotional connections with others. Of course he just argued.At one point he said (as a sort of "threat" - which sounds weird, I know) that "Fine. I'll stop drinking altogether." At another point he said that he had had two months last year where he had not had a single drink, and I hadn't even noticed. I said," but that's normal!" But he feels it was an accomplishment I overlooked. Well, really, I wasn't aware that he was working at it...
Anyhow, Im just touching base to get my feelings in order, and hoping the rest of the day goes better. I will make some lunch for us, and cross my fingers!
My granddaughter spent the night...she's 3 and has been the apple of my husband's eye but the last while he seems to have distanced himself from her, too. When my daughter and her husband came by this morning, to visit, bring a gift and get her, he was happy to see them for a while, but then got busy pulling weeds (we were sitting outside having coffee) and I soon realized he had gone up to the garage to take a few slugs of vodka.
After they left I insisted he sit and talk to me and said frankly that I had read an article on alcoholics being unable to make emotional connections with others. Of course he just argued.At one point he said (as a sort of "threat" - which sounds weird, I know) that "Fine. I'll stop drinking altogether." At another point he said that he had had two months last year where he had not had a single drink, and I hadn't even noticed. I said," but that's normal!" But he feels it was an accomplishment I overlooked. Well, really, I wasn't aware that he was working at it...
Anyhow, Im just touching base to get my feelings in order, and hoping the rest of the day goes better. I will make some lunch for us, and cross my fingers!
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