Father’s family

    After observing the relationship between my grandparents and my dad, I’ve noticed some things. My dad is very dominant and demanding. My grandparents- his parents- usually go with what he says. My grandmother is the scapegoat. Whenever she is blamed, my grandfather does not take her side but goes with it as well. 

    It leaves a sour feeling in my gut. i wonder how long back this dysfunctional family goes. 

    A few weeks ago, my dad was full on yelling at my grandmother, saying she was KILLING him and it was her fault he would DIE earlier. You know why he said that. Because she puts too much salt when she cooks. 

    Dramatic much? 

    It was painful to watch. My grandmother and father ganging up on my grandmother. She doesn’t show it, but I know she is hurt. She usually reacts by getting annoyed, but I know that she’s bothered. I know she’s afraid. At that time, I went up to her in the middle of it and hugged her, and I chastized them, ME, a 16 year old girl in a culture where the youth should respect their elders. “How can you be so mean to your own mother? What kind of example are you trying to set?” 

    It.. worked. My dad apologized? And they even admitted to being mean to her.. and said they’d do better. I don’t really believe that, but my grandma has been putting less salt in her food lately. It’s one of the first changes I’ve ever seen in her. Her memory is horrible, so I’m surprised she’s going so far to do this. I wonder what it was. My dad, or me? 

    I was so scared going up to my grandmother. I was 80% sure they’d just yell at me too. I was sitting at my computer pretending not to hear and deliberating back and forth whether or not to go.. but I thought FUCK IT and my legs got up on their own. 

    I don’t really feel heroic though. It was very spur of the moment. Who knows if I can replicate that kind of action? And it didn’t do much.. they were back at it again this week. Though, less intensely. No one yelled at my grandma. 

   Poor old lady. When I was a kid, even I yelled at her. Everyone, and I mean everyone did, so I followed suit. Everyone got mad and annoyed at her. She is very easy to get annoyed at, because she’s hard of hearing and a lot of the times tries to push unnecessary stuff onto us (and doesn’t listen when we refuse). Still. Be the better person, right? 

    When I told my dad to stip being cruel to her, he said “I have to do this or else she won’t listen.” She’s never listened to him when he does that. What kind of logical fallacy is this? That kind of blind anger doesn’t bring results, but people believe they do. They just indulge themselves on this to the detriment of others. 

    Again, my dad being stupid and being the very antithesis to my beliefs.

    PS, today he invited them to go to a spa, and got PISSED when they refused. Jeez! Let them make a decision! He even guild trioped them like I already bought the tickets and if you don’t come they’ll be wasted because of you.