Fate Caught Up To Me

Well, while i couldn't make up my mind between two exes, Isaac and Aaron, i am now 6 wks pregnant by Isaac.  I know it's Isaac's because i haven't seen Aaron in almost a year.  I saw Isaac in November right after Thanksgiving.  I really want to mention how my body feels this way i can remember later, and if i have to reference back to this.  I haven't had morning sickness yet thank GOD!  I have had to pee A LOT, feel a constant pressure in my abdomen, and tender breasts, cramping a little in my ovaries, and i felt my hips stretching the other day.  I can't eat like i usually do, i get full VERY easily.  I did think of an A word at first but my sister had one when she was 18 and regrets it every day of her life.  I thought this could be my miracle baby because i always thought i was sterile.  I'm sooo excited!  My neice Heather has been wonderful to me too!  My best friend Valene is excited as well.  Without my sis and Heather i dont know what i'd do.  They've been so supportive.  Heather has 2 of her own and is the most excited!  Isaac is freaking out its kinda funny cuz he doesnt even have to carry it.  He's excited, nervous, and scared.  So guess who has to be the strong one here?!  My parents don't know yet, i'm not telling them until i move to Albuquerque which is gonna be soon, even if i have to quit my good job at the post office.  I'm not due until August 22nd, 2009.  So i can easily find a job even if i have to take a pay cut.  I need to do what's best for me and i'm going to try to work things out with him.  I love him, and maybe this will change him, for the better.  I'm so scared of my parents i may have my neice tell them or even write them a letter when i get to ABQ.  I'm petrified of them.   I'm not married, they hate Isaac, but this is a grandbaby for them!  How can they be upset about that part??? It's my life i cant fear them forever.  Maybe this will help with the fear i have of them also.   I'm just trying to avoid all stress right now because i have miscarried with Isaac before.  I can't wait!  We have a name picked out for a boy,   Gabriel Anthony Gonzales, and for a girl we have names we like, such as Floriana, Daniella, and some others.  We will have to really decide hehe.  On to something even as serious, my sister committed an armed robbery at a local Walgreen's Nov. 18th.  She stole some methadone and oxycontin, a large amount is all i know.  She also was in a high speed car chase and a cop shot at her 4 times and missed her, but hit the windshield and engine.  So my sister is really stressed out about that, and that was a very tragic thing my family and i've gone through.  Her preliminary hearing is the 6th and we're both torn between my pregnancy and her armed robbery.  I thought i didnt have my period due to all this stress, but 3 hpt's later and a confirmation test at the doc i'm 6 wks preggers.  It's scary and exciting!  Isaac's an effing idiot!  He has his heads in the clouds and has no idea how to handle difficult situations he stresses out and draws a blank.  He's even 2 years older than me.  I guess that's why they're men, cuz we always have to take control and hold them by the hand cuz they are clueless without us.  I must admit though, i'm already getting 'mommy' brain, i am forgetting what the hell i'm doing and don't know what i'm doing.  lol We may have a problem here, with the combo of Isaac and I.  eeek!  I know i'm ditzy, at times but dang i'm getting worse!  I will def keep my journal in mind cuz i'm wanting to keep track of my feelings, and body changes.  I read that my baby is the size of a tip of a matchstick right now!  How CUTE!!!!! I REALLY want a girl, but i'ld love a boy just as much.  Just as long as it's healthy!