family ties
I'm mad as fucking hell and I refuse to hold it in so I have to vent. My brother is the most inconsiderate prick I've ever met. He came all the way from wurtsboro to sell me a bag of weed- just so u know- that's 20 minutes from my place. He called and asked if I wanted to buy it. He said it was a big sack. Let's be very clear here- he needed the money. That's absolutely the only reason he came here.
My brother rarely does anything without some form of benefit to him. He's so fucking inconsiderate its disgusting. It takes everything in me to not get into it with him. He just acts like he's more important then absolutely everything and everyone.
I was just getting home from work and he was going to meet me here. So he pulls up about 5 min after I get here and I wait. I see he's not getting out of the car. So I go up to our GLASS door and look out and motion for him to come in- nothing. So I call his phone, no answer. Call his chick's phone- no answer. I waited for about 5 minutes and then I got in the shower. Trying to ignore how inconsiderate and shitty he fucking treats me and how the ONLY time he ever contacts me is when he needs something.
I get out of the shower and then he comes in. No remorse whatsoever about anything. Not even a "my bad- I saw you sitting there in the fucking window- sorry for not texting to let you know what's up". Nothing.
Every fucking time I deal with this little selfish piece of shit he makes me feel horrible. He's made it absolutely clear for years that he would SO rather be with friends and girlfriends then family. He's someone that comes in like mr. Politician- all smiles and I love u's- then you say something he doesn't like and POOF- he turns into a monster. Him and his chick are just like my uncle and his ex. They're the same people- she's just better at hiding what an asshole she is. But it shows at times. In fact- she even looks like my aunt. Anyway- he comes in and goes right for the shit in the frig. The date bars. And if it was anyone else I would have just let them have it. But my brother is such a fucking food nazi and there were so many times he fucking shit all over me for eating small amounts of his food that I would always replace that it forever urks me that he comes up in this house and eats whatever the fuck he wants.
I feel the acid dripping in my stomach right now. I have to stop talking about this. He's a selfish, abusive, narcisscistic prick who only looks out for number one. Btw I just threw up. I don't have to finish this story. Bc what occurred this time was the same things that happen every time.
He doesn't take the time to understand me. Its that combo of ignorance and arrogance that has plagued me throughout my life. He commented on how I was in a bad mood- not surprised. That's what he does- comes thru- steps all over everyone's boundaries and when everyone doesn't put a koolaid smile on their face then he turns into an arrogant prick. That's it. Every dealing w him is the same. I walk into it knowing that if he offends me I have to choices- swallow it or get into a huge fight. Both don't work for me. I've been trying to limit my contact with him. Maybe limiting isn't good. Maybe no contact is the only way. That's what's up from now on. No more contact.
What set me off more than anything was that he said he was doing me a favor by coming here. He wasn't. He needed the money and ma wasn't around to lend it to him. And he was like "you're in a good mood". All sarcastic. Truth is- I was. And after I put down this phone I will be again. I won't let him take my joy away. He's done that too many times. I pray he finds his way and I pray for enough peace to actually include him in one of my prayers instead of swallowing hatred and resentment while he walks away unscathed.
My brother rarely does anything without some form of benefit to him. He's so fucking inconsiderate its disgusting. It takes everything in me to not get into it with him. He just acts like he's more important then absolutely everything and everyone.
I was just getting home from work and he was going to meet me here. So he pulls up about 5 min after I get here and I wait. I see he's not getting out of the car. So I go up to our GLASS door and look out and motion for him to come in- nothing. So I call his phone, no answer. Call his chick's phone- no answer. I waited for about 5 minutes and then I got in the shower. Trying to ignore how inconsiderate and shitty he fucking treats me and how the ONLY time he ever contacts me is when he needs something.
I get out of the shower and then he comes in. No remorse whatsoever about anything. Not even a "my bad- I saw you sitting there in the fucking window- sorry for not texting to let you know what's up". Nothing.
Every fucking time I deal with this little selfish piece of shit he makes me feel horrible. He's made it absolutely clear for years that he would SO rather be with friends and girlfriends then family. He's someone that comes in like mr. Politician- all smiles and I love u's- then you say something he doesn't like and POOF- he turns into a monster. Him and his chick are just like my uncle and his ex. They're the same people- she's just better at hiding what an asshole she is. But it shows at times. In fact- she even looks like my aunt. Anyway- he comes in and goes right for the shit in the frig. The date bars. And if it was anyone else I would have just let them have it. But my brother is such a fucking food nazi and there were so many times he fucking shit all over me for eating small amounts of his food that I would always replace that it forever urks me that he comes up in this house and eats whatever the fuck he wants.
I feel the acid dripping in my stomach right now. I have to stop talking about this. He's a selfish, abusive, narcisscistic prick who only looks out for number one. Btw I just threw up. I don't have to finish this story. Bc what occurred this time was the same things that happen every time.
He doesn't take the time to understand me. Its that combo of ignorance and arrogance that has plagued me throughout my life. He commented on how I was in a bad mood- not surprised. That's what he does- comes thru- steps all over everyone's boundaries and when everyone doesn't put a koolaid smile on their face then he turns into an arrogant prick. That's it. Every dealing w him is the same. I walk into it knowing that if he offends me I have to choices- swallow it or get into a huge fight. Both don't work for me. I've been trying to limit my contact with him. Maybe limiting isn't good. Maybe no contact is the only way. That's what's up from now on. No more contact.
What set me off more than anything was that he said he was doing me a favor by coming here. He wasn't. He needed the money and ma wasn't around to lend it to him. And he was like "you're in a good mood". All sarcastic. Truth is- I was. And after I put down this phone I will be again. I won't let him take my joy away. He's done that too many times. I pray he finds his way and I pray for enough peace to actually include him in one of my prayers instead of swallowing hatred and resentment while he walks away unscathed.
Replies
Wow! I now that seething anger - BOY, do I know that N routine! It\'s maddening to say the least.
I see that you\'re starting to see (I mean really see) what types of personalities you\'re really dealing with, and I do hope that you also see, it has nothing to do with you. With the exception of it bothering you to the core - that just means you\'re the sensitive, empathic, and caring one, and that means you can make the choice to move above all their nonsense.
Sounds like \"no contact\" is a great idea. How doable that is since you\'re family is all around you, I don\'t know, but I have done it before, and over time, the relief was immense. It does work, once you get them out of your head - and over time, as you gather strength and insight, setting extreme boundaries, and limitiing contact versus cutting them out altogether can work too.
I\'m sorry he made you sick - literally, but I know that feeling when I finally started accepting my N for what he was, I would get literally sick as well.